Whoo hoo it is a new start

As I listen to all the fireworks popping in our neighborhood, I know the count down has begun. Just over four hours left until we ring in the New Year. I sure am excited to have a fresh start with a fresh outlook. It's time to evaluate what you need to learn from everything that has happened in 2018, the good and the bad. When you realize what was holding you back and having a negative effect on you JUST FLUSH IT out so you don't bring anything into the New Year,  if you want a fresh start. Happy New Year stay safe. Keep your resolutions realistic.

There are remnants everywhere

On Christmas you watch the bows being torn off the presents and tossed aside. You hear the sounds of paper being ripped so quickly that it gets shredded. Little pieces of paper fly through the air. You see the adults trying to pick up the trash as soon as it lands somewhere. As an adult they know that if they aren't paying attention a part of a new present can get accidentally thrown away. How many of you have had to dig through the Christmas trash to find something? Sometimes they don't get to the gift right away to play because they are busy playing with other toys. And that can be after you have taken out all the trash and the garbage man has already hauled it to the dump. Heck it's not just on Christmas that I have had to dig in the trash to retrieve something after I had thrown it away. I thought I had cleaned up all the paper that had been thrown about but I keep finding little dime size pieces of paper that had apparently caught a draft of wind and soared to far away places. Some pieces I found had to have fallen off someone's clothing as they went through the house. Because unless a tornado swirled them about they couldn't possibly have gotten where they are. Everytime a see a piece, a smile comes on my face as I relive the memory of their smiling faces as they opened their gifts. Curious if you leave your Christmas tree up until after New Years? I definitely am because I heard it was bad luck if you take it down before then. I am not necessarily super sticious but I see no reason to take that chance. 

Being realistic and honest with yourself can be painful

Let me start by saying that if you can't be honest with yourself, you are in trouble. It is normal and necessary at times to put on a brave front to others and assure them everything is going to be okay. But you can't always ignore what you have to do if you are going to have a positive outcome. You may think it is crazy to talk to yourself but the truth is you and you alone know the "whole truth" about the true reality of what you are facing. If you can't be honest with yourself then you have no chance of figuring out what you need to do to have a positive outcome. To determine if a person has lost their sanity or if the are legally insane is if "on their own they can make sound decisions". Key words here are "on their own". Not what someone else tells them. So if you think talking to yourself is crazy remember if you don't or can't than you have lost your sanity. With the New Year just days away it is important that you find a quiet place when you have some time to talk to yourself about where you are now, where you want to be in the future, and what you need to change to make 2019 a better year for yourself. Be honest about where you are now and be realistic on the goals you set. If you count on reaching an unrealistic goal you are just setting yourself up for failure.

Merry Christmas Eve

We are just hours away from Christmas. Soon everyone will be here and the house will be full of cheer. By the time the grandkids arrive they have opened their gifts from Santa and are ready to eat a big breakfast. The smell of the bacon greets them when they walk in the door. They sit around telling us excitedly what Santa brought them, as they are eating. Oh the joy on their faces as they describe everything in great detail, is what Christmas is all about. It is just a wonderful thing to experience. Before you know it they have eaten their whole plate of food just as their stories end. Then they realize that it is time to gather together in the living room to open the gifts we had gotten them. With a grin from ear to ear they excitedly begin opening them to see what is inside. Our gift is to be able to watch their happy faces as they tear through the paper and get a peek at what it is. We know that it is for only a short time that they are little and squeal with joy, and we don't want to miss a minute of it. We know it is family gatherings and moments like this that is the reason for the season. Merry Christmas Everyone and to all a good night

You don't have to wait

You know a year in advance that Christmas is coming. So why does everyone seem to wait until the last few days to do the shopping? The after Christmas sales are the best times to do your shopping. Everything goes drastically on sale from fifty percent off and more. You just tuck them in a closet and when you put your tree up you will also have gifts to put under it. That way you aren't out running around trying to find something to buy. And you won't have to come up with a fortune out of your budget in December to buy things that aren't in your budget. At least think about picking up a couple of nice gifts for yourself that will be  so cheap you won't feel guilty. If you are traveling for the holidays drive safely. Leave early enough that you can stop if you get too tired. Stay warm.

The jolly of Christmas

Most holidays only bring one twenty four hour period of celebration. But Christmas is enjoyed starting the day after Thanksgiving. They even give it a name, black Friday. That's around thirty days to enjoy the joy that Christmas brings. Now we are counting down the last few days. Every where you go during the Christmas season you can see and feel the jolly. If only every one could keep this feeling every day of the year, we would have World Peace. Now that all the gifts are wrapped you can sit down and relax and enjoy the festive colors that makes you feel all holly and jolly inside. Every time I walk in my front door I am greeted with all the colorful joy of Christmas. Although I am looking forward to the start of the New Year, I know it means that the Christmas season has to end. But for the next few days there is plenty of jolly to enjoy. Hope everyone has a holly jolly Christmas.

In the hustle and bustle you can forget what you even got

With Christmas just days away it's time to write a list of all the gifts you had planned to get yet hadn't gotten around to getting. Today I took my list and started on the long journey that I had ahead of me. I had so many stores to go to. They were located in three different towns. I had to plan a map of all the different places I had to go so I could do everything in order of where they were located. As the shopping began I would put each bag I had bought in the back of my van. Tucking it so hopefully no one would see it and break my window to steal it. It took me nearly five hours to check off everything on my list and finally make it home to start wrapping presents. I started with my teenage son's  video games from Game Stop. It was one of the first few places I went when I first started my journey. As I went through the bag of items I couldn't find the new eighty dollar controllers I had bought. I searched the bag three times and all around the table I was sitting at. Then I went out to my car and searched to see if it had fallen out of the bag. The employee must have forgotten to put it in the bag. So I called the store and the manager answered. She left me on hold while the employees searched all around the register but they said it wasn't at the store. I knew I paid for it and I told her I wasn't doing without what I paid for because her employee forgot to put it in the bag. She could hear the frustration in my voice. Without hesitation she told me to come back to the store and she would give me another one to replace it. I wasn't happy about having to drive back up there after just getting home but eighty dollars is a big chunk of money. After hanging up with the manager I started looking through the pile of other bags to see if I needed to hide anything before I left. And there tucked in between two fluffy plush toys for my granddaughters was the controllers I was looking for. I don't normally buy by my young grandaughters, who are still into dolls, a gift at Game Stop. But today I did and I hadn't even looked in that bag before calling the manager. I felt totally embarrassed. Now I had to call her back and apologize for being grouchy and admit that I just hadn't looked hard enough. I was so touched when it dawned on me that she was willing to replace them. I decided I would drive back up there and thank her in person for going above and beyond with a smile to make sure her customers were happy. It sure is rare to see these days. I decided to take her a box of chocolates to hopefully bring a little joy to her during this busy holiday season like the joy that she brought this grouchy old customer.

You know you are over it when you can laugh about it

When something negative is happening you sure aren't happy about it. While you are dealing with it you are so focused on it that you have tunnel vision. Which makes it nearly impossible to see anything else. After you figure out how you can tackle the problem, you begin to see everything else around you. You get back on track catching up on things that you ignored while you were focusing on what had happened. Once things get back to normal, you can JUST FLUSH IT and sit back and relax again. Although not right away, one day you will be able to look back at what had happened and smile. You will beam with pride on how well you handled what had happened. You will be able to laugh about it. And when you can laugh about it you know you are over it.

It can be pouring even on a sunny day

Although I know it happens from time to time, I am always shocked when it does. Have you ever heard of the saying "When it rains it pours"? If you have then you know it isn't talking about the weather. It means in your personal life, one negative thing after another happens. Each one is hard to deal with on it's own. But when you are dealing with several issues at the same time, it is overwhelming. Luckily I am old enough to have experienced it many times throughout my life, so I know that eventually it will stop "raining". Why everything happened at the same time or how it even could have happened will always be a mystery. And life is just as unpredictable as the weather is. It just is what it is and whatever it is you just have to deal with.

It depends

What you will do depends on what you can do. You can still probably do what you want, you just might have to find a different way to do it. Keep in mind that if you can't do exactly what you had wanted to do, you can still do what you can do. Sometimes in life things happen for a reason. And sometimes it is because you weren't supposed to do it. You may think it was what was best for you. But it wasn't meant to be. Being able to accept the change is the only way to be able to do your best with what you got to deal with. You don't always get what you want but you can get what you need. One day you will look back at the moment and understand that if it had not happened then you wouldn't be where you are or who you are today. Just go with the flow and enjoy the ride. You may not like the change but a change may be exactly what you need.

Don't forget

 When I have several important things to get accomplished that day, I make a list of what I need so I don't forget anything. But ninety percent of the time I forget to bring my written list. I try to reassure myself that I will remember everything, after all I just wrote it so it was still fresh on my mind. I go over all the errands that I had to get done in my mind. I stop by the first errand closest to my house. Then as I was again on my way I suddenly couldn't remember what it was that was so important to get done. I kept feeling like there was something really important. Something that I had forgotten before to do that I then put at the top of my list. But no matter how hard I tried I could only think of my normal weekly errands. Over and over again as I did other errands, I would have this nagging feeling that there was something unusual that I had needed to do for a while  but had kept forgetting to do. I had to do what I could remember and hope that the nagging feeling I was having was not about something important. After I was done I would go home and see what I had wrote on the list. Unfortunately when I saw what I had forgotten, again. I was shocked that I couldn't remember it because it was very important and time sensitive. So I grabbed my keys and went to go do it. I was going straight to do it and nothing else so I wouldn't forget again. Later I was thinking about how on Earth I couldn't think of something so important. And annoyed with myself that I constantly forgot to take the list I made so I wouldn't forget anything. Then it dawned on me that I never forget my phone so if I just sent myself a text of my list I would always have my list and I would not forget to do what was on my list.

What you see is what you get

You may not see everything at a quick glance. Which is why you should look at things from all the angles. If you only read the first chapter of a book, you will have no idea what the book is about. If you read the first chapter and the last chapter, you will have no idea what led to the outcome. You will have to read all of the book to really understand the whole story. I recently watched a friend destoy her relationship with a friend over absolutely nothing. She thought she had to after learning about an incident that happened. But when she later heard all the facts surrounding the incident, she realized that her friend did nothing wrong. Unfortunately she reacted so harshly that her friend decided that she just didn't want a friend who would throw away their friendship over something she should have known she would never do. Although her friend knew she wouldn't do something like that, she didn't get the whole story before she reacted. Once you react you can't take it back. You can say your sorry but once you reacted, the damage is done. It is a reminder to make sure you get all the facts before you react. That's like running out of gas in your car and you buy a new engine just because it won't start. If you would take the time, you would notice the gas gauge was on empty.  Before you make a decision get all the facts or you may make an uneducated guess that you have to live with. Once you react the decision is made.

It's going to happen but it doesn't mean you can't enjoy what you can

On your lifes journey you will experience many things. Along with the good times you will have, you will also have to survive the bad times. Out of no where on your journey there can be boulders that just appear in your path. There is no rhyme or reason why some people seem to always have a easy journey while others face one obstacle after another. I agree. I have seen it too many times where one person survives a tragedy and before they can begin to heal, a boulder falls forcing them to face another one. It seems as if the bullies in life get a easy journey while the kindest people I know can't seem to catch a break. But they also know that when a boulder falls they need to go around it and keep moving forward. You can't just sit and try to figure out where it came from nor why it came. You got to just accept it and JUST FLUSH IT out of your mind in order to enjoy life while you are living it. When life gives you lemons you make lemonade.

If you do, then you will have to

If it is something you need to do then you know it is up to you to do it. Waiting on someone else to do it doesn't mean it will get done. In the end if you want it done then you better do it. If you choose not to do it then apparently you made the decision that it didn't really need to be done. If it is important to you then you would have done it. You may have all the opportunities in the world but if you don't do what is necessary then you will have no opportunity for success. Like the saying goes....There are no lost opportunities, they are just taken by someone else. If opportunity knocks at your door you have to open the door. Don't wait for something to fall into your lap because it won't. If you want it then do what it takes to get it. Just get up and get 'r done.

Each year there is less

Now that all the Christmas decorations are up it sure does look jolly. Well not all the decorations came out. You see the older I get the less I feel like dragging it all out. It's funny, you spend decades buying just the right decorations to add to your Christmas decorations. Then suddenly you get old and you start bringing out less each year. Eventually you dwindle down to just one box you pull out to decorate instead of five boxes. It sure is a lot easier. This is my first year of not buying a live Christmas Tree. I wasn't for sure how I would feel after it was decorated. Would it still feel like Christmas? I had still felt jolly each year even with less decorations out. But without the smell of a fresh cut tree, would it still feel like Christmas? The artificial tree I bought was much smaller than the fresh cut tree I would normally buy. That means I wouldn't have room for all the decades of ornaments I now owned. Just then someone very dear to me called. She had lost her ornaments in one of her many moves and asked if I could mail her the ones I wasn't going to need. She was excited to get a variety of old special ornaments and not have to buy new ones. That made giving up half my ornaments a joy to pass them on to her instead of saddness over getting rid of them. It was just what I needed to joyfully pick out my many special ornaments and hang them on my new forever tree. As I stood back to look at it after it was decorated it still brought the jolly feeling I was used to.  Now I decorate my house for Christmas by making robots out of each person's stack of presents in place of my many decorations I used to put out years ago. And best of all it's decorations I didn't have to drag out nor put back up each year. When you are older you finally understand the phrase "that less is more." As time goes by you begin to see things differently and you appreciate everything so much more.

Where did they go

Today is black Friday and as you know you might get a good deal but only if you can find a parking spot. I dreaded doing errands and having to drive today because it's the biggest shopping day of the year. Surprisingly I didn't run into any traffic jams today. Where was all the shoppers? Did they stay up all night to be the first in line and are now home taking a nap? Or did they shop on line from the comfort of their homes? I have to agree that staying in your pajamas while you shop on line sounds like a good idea to me. And it sure does feel good not to be stuck in a traffic jam during the Christmas season. Which makes everyone more holly and jolly. I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. Now begins the count down until Christmas will be here.

The smell is in the air

As preparations for our Thanksgiving Dinner begins the smells fill the air in our home. In less than twenty four hours it will also be filled with family and friends. Every year we say we are not going to over eat to the point where we can not move. Yet every year we do. You just want to taste a little bit of everything. Problem with that is there are so many different items that you can't fit it all on one plate. So naturally you go back for a second plate. Then there are all those deserts lined up on the table. You may be able to hold off on deserts until later but there is no way your not going to have a small bit of each and every one of them. After everyone finishes eating they grab a comfy spot to plop down. Since everyone is unable to get up we gather to talk and enjoy each others company. No electronic devices to consume our attention are allowed so everyone can give their undevided attention to those that matter most to them. I hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving and remember you don't count calories on a holiday, so your free to enjoy it all.

Once the lights go on

Sometimes you rack your brain trying to figure something out yet your mind just goes blank. You may have spent a lot of time thinking about it and decide you just can't figure it out. Then BING as if a light switch had been turned on, you suddenly can clearly see the answer you were looking for. Although you thought you had stopped thinking about it subconsciously the search was still on. And when the answer was found, your subconscious turned on the switch so you could see it. Hopefully you wrote down the recipes for your Thanksgiving favorites, because it's time to do the last minute grocery shopping.  And even your subconscious may not be able to find that special ingriedient. And it won't taste like you remember without it.

First things first

Your first instinct may not be your best option. Until you weigh all your options you have to keep all your options open. If you react to your first instinct you may have no options at all anymore. You will have to face many things throughout your life. How you choose to react to each one will shape up the life you will live. Some people are lucky enough to have an easy life to live yet have a hard time enjoying it. Others have faced nothing but hardships throughout their life yet find a way to enjoy every moment they can. The cards you are dealt in life are only one part of how the "Game of Life" is played.

The best gifts are not based on how much they cost

How many gifts from past Christmas's are shoved in your closet that you have never used? Be honest. If you want to get someone a gift this holiday season, you could fix their broken step. They would sure rather have stairs safe to walk up then a hundred dollar gift they will shove in their closet and never use. Instead of wasting money on expensive gifts make them a homemade pie that you know is their favorite instead of another robe that they will never wear. When I tell my kids not to buy me anything they still do. I know you want to get people gifts but what is the point of wasting your money on things they will never use? Christmas is the season to be jolly and there is nothing jolly about having to make payments after Christmas on presents that you couldn't afford. And trust me the person you bought it for isn't jolly knowing that you are in debt buying them something that expensive that they are going to shove in their closet.

What is the point anyways?

If there is no point in doing it, then why would you do it? Sometimes you do it because there is no point not to. Other times you do it to prove a point. Every sign could point to the same direction yet it could still be the wrong direction. You just never know so you make it a point to investigate to be sure. It's like choosing the worn path that looks like the most traveled only to realize that it is worn only because it was the wrong way and everyone had to turn around and come back. Things are not always what they seem to be. Just because others are doing it doesn't mean it's the right thing for you to do. Don't assume you know. Get the facts so you know for sure.

Pass it on

After making Thanksgiving Dinner for decades, I have learned a few tricks to make it easier. I would like to pass the tricks on to anyone reading this, in case you don't already know. Our family likes to have both mashed potatoes and potatoe salad. And to feed a lot of people that calls for a lot of potatoes. There are so many things that need to be prepared that it can be overwhelming. Anything you can prepare the day before will make it easier. I learned you can peel and cut all your potatoes the day before. Then keep them in the refrigerator in gallon sized baggies covered with water. You can also make your deviled eggs and almost all your deserts the day before. Splitting the work you need to do into two days will make a big difference. It takes a lot of work to prepare a Thanksgiving Feast. But what is the sense of making it if you overwork yourself to the point where you can't even enjoy it because you are exhausted. Making lots of food isn't the only important thing about Thanksgiving. It is also just as important that you make the time to gather together. As you go throughout your life you learn as you go and hopefully you will pass on what you have learned.

A moment of silence

It's hard to think straight when you are surrounded by noise. In the middle of a thought you get distracted and then you can't remember what you were thinking about. Sometimes it's a "calgon moment" when there are too many outside noises happening all at once. But other times you can be sitting alone in a quiet room yet there is a "tornado" of thoughts swirling around in your mind. When there are outside distractions you simply have to find a quiet place away from the distractions. When it is a tornado inside your mind there is no where to hide. You will just have to one by one FLUSH some of the thoughts out of your mind. As you clear some thoughts out of your mind you will be able to think more clearly. If you want peace of mind you got to make room for it. Just Flush It out of your mind one thought at a time.

Wishful thinking can only happen if you wish

You may have a good idea but it won't do anyone any good if you don't share your idea. Your wishes can't come true if you don't make a wish. You can't make a positive difference unless you do something positive. You can relax if you stop long enough to relax. You are the only one who can make sure you do what you are supposed to do. You can but will you? It is up to you to decide what you will do and if you don't do it you have no one to blame but yourself. If you don't care if it happens to someone else and stop it then when it happens to you will anyone care?

Turn those Halloween tricks into a treat you can enjoy

Halloween is finally here and you can enjoy the happiness on all your visitors faces. This is an exciting time for those getting candy as well as for those waiting at their door to give you some candy. But it is important to check every piece of their candy because unfortunately even little children are not safe from an evil person putting something in the candy to harm them. In the good old days you were safe to eat a piece of candy or two as you ran from house to get as much candy as you could. It's only for two hours  and it comes just once a year. Remember if they don't have a light on to welcome you, just run past that house to get to their neighbors house who is waiting to see your costume and give you candy to enjoy. As we all know Halloween signals the countdown to Christmas. Don't forget to shop for the Halloween clearance to find unique things to turn your wrapped presents into robots that will be fun to look at until Christmas day when they can finally open them. Happy Halloween.

Forgiveness you do for yourself

To forgive someone is something you do to let go of the negative feelings so you can move on. Forgiving it doesn't mean you forget about it. It doesn't mean that what happened wasn't wrong. It doesn't mean that you will have trust in them to do the right thing for now on. It simply means you can JUST FLUSH IT so it doesn't do any harm to you anymore. Being angry at them about it would only hurt you. Forgiveness you do for yourself.

Everyone is free to have their own opinion or are they?

Ten people could see the exact same thing yet every single one of them can see something totally different. Does that mean nine people are wrong? Of course not. How you look at something determines what you see. And just because you didn't see it doesn't mean it wasn't there. There seems to be a problem with accepting that anyone could see things differently than you do. Our differences are what make every single one of us uniquely different. Can you imagine a world where we are all exactly alike. Or a world where your opinion didn't matter you had to do what your told, when you were told to, and like it or not you would. Well luckily we are free to have our own opinion and we need to respect everyone's opinion if we want to keep freedom to have our own opinion.

A little bit goes a long way

Every little bit helps. You can make a big difference by showing a little kindness. It isn't about how much you can do it is about taking a moment to show them you care. Even if you can't do anything just taking a moment to listen can help them a little. You don't have to say a word just letting them say it out loud gives them a chance to figure it out on their own. When all they are dealing with is swirling in their mind it is like a tornado. But as they gather their thoughts to say it out loud they are able to see more clearly what exactly they are dealing with. It is easier for them to solve their own problems when they can see clearly what the problems are.

Maybe or maybe not

Maybe it will happen but there is a chance it won't happen. Well there is a chance if you don't blow it. If you react defensively to what could happen in a situation you are choosing the outcome that may not have even happened. If you would have just waited to see what happened you could have had a better outcome for yourself. Although you will blame the situation for the outcome you really have no one but yourself to blame. How you react determines the outcome. You may have had to deal with a negative situation but that doesn't mean there wouldn't have been a positive outcome. Don't assume the worst if you want any chance for your situation to have a positive outcome. How you look at it and react to it determines the outcome.

Laughter is the best medicine

It had been a long time since I have laughed so hard. You can feel a good belly laugh from your head to your toes. It is like a FLUSH for your mind, body and soul. When is the last time you had a good belly laugh? It is usually over something silly but it just makes you laugh so hard that you almost pee your pants. Like someone accidentally saying froggiging. To hear the word now doesn't make me laugh. But when the word triggers the memory of the time my friends and I laughed so hard when it rolled out of our friends mouth, well it still makes me giggle a little. It is one of those things that you had to be there to understand why it was so funny. We all have heard that laughter is the best medicine. If you can make them laugh you can help them. You can not solve their problem but if you can make them laugh it will help.

Proper rest is needed no matter how old you are

You need to get enough sleep just as much as you need to maintain your diet and get plenty of exercise. It seems like people make sure to eat healthy and at least get some form of exercise yet they don't even pay attention to the hours of rest they are getting. When you are sick you and your doctor never seem to attribute it to a lack of proper rest. You may have caught a cold and need medicine but your body needs rest to recouperate. They put very sicksick patients in an induced coma because the body heals better and faster when you are asleep. So if you find yourself sick you need to get extra rest. And to keep yourself healthy you need to get proper rest everyday. Of course there are times when you treat yourself to a piece of pie but most of the time you eat right. There will be times when you stay up a little late but most of the time you need to get the rest you need. You may think you don't need a bedtime when you are grown up but you do if you want to stay healthy.

It can be there one minute then gone the next

Nothing last forever. Even if you like things just the way they are you can't prevent it from changing. Several generations before mine had no television at all. I couldn't imagine no television, luckily I grew up with three channels. Could you imagine only having three channels today? There was no computers, game systems or internet. You had to use your imagination to entertain yourself. Although all the changes may seem like positive changes there are many negative results of the changes. Families can be in the same room yet not even communicate with each other because everyone is lost in their electronics. So family bonding experiences rarely happens anymore. Instead of using your imagination and creativity you rely on cyberspace to occupy your free time. Instead of going outside to play for exercise and getting fresh air you sit inside staring at your devices.  Without human contact you become desensitized to your human side. There is no way to stop things from changing but when you are with your family and friends you can turn off your devices and share some human contact to stay connected to your human side.

What triggers it?

From time to time in the middle of doing something, out of nowhere a thought can pop up front and center in your mind.  It can catch you by surprise making you wander where on earth did that come from. It can be a smell that triggers it. It can be triggered by a number of ways. I know when I walk through a flea market there are many old memories that pop up as I see something. Like seeing the gawdy lamp my aunt had in her house. Before you know it I have enjoyed reliving a couple of memories I had forgotten about at her house. After I walked through the whole flea market seeing many things my family had owned in the past, it felt like I just had a family reunion. By the time you are my age you realize the memories you have stored away won't come out unless something triggers it. Of course not all the triggered memories do we want to relive. So when a negative memory pops up JUST FLUSH IT so you don't relive it.

A new beginning means a fresh start

To have a fresh start in your life you have to let go of your past painful experiences. That doesn't mean you can totally forget your past. It simply means that you can't keep it fresh on your mind or it will stink up your future too. Acknowledge it and learn what you need to from it then JUST FLUSH IT. You can't move forward if you are stuck always looking at your past. No more than you can drive your car forward while you are always looking in your rear view mirror. Keep in mind as you move forward that there will be bumps along the way. That way you will not get discouraged because it will not be smooth sailing all the time. Expecting things to be perfect is setting yourself up for failure. Good things and bad things will happen on your journey in life, that's just life.

Rushing into it can ruin it

You may be able to do it faster but that doesn't mean you will do it just as good as you would have if you would have taken your time. Doing it right is more important than how fast you do it. It may take longer than you thought but it takes patience to get the results you want. It is easy to take your time when you get started on something that you know will take a long time to accomplish. But the closer it gets to being done the harder it is to wait for it to get done. You get so excited to reach your goal that you may be tempted to hurry up and get it done. But you know that all the hard work you have put into it could be wasted time if you mess it up as you rush to get it done. It's like seeing a red light up ahead so you start slowing down to be able to stop then out of nowhere you push your gas right when you get to the red light. You know that makes no sense. Neither does working so hard to get something done right then when you are almost done you mess it all up by rushing to get it done fast. If you want to do it right then you will have to take your time to do it right. Unless you plan on failing you need to stick to your plans. And since things can take longer than you planned, you will have to plan on doing whatever it takes no matter how long it takes to get it done right.

A message to help you

I just spoke with someone who recently lost their mother. I never met her but she still inspired me through his stories. She apparently knew she didn't have much time left on Earth. So she decided to write notes to leave behind for her loved ones to find. It wasn't just one note it was many little notes she left all around her house. She knew after she passed away that her family would have to clear out her belongings. As they slowly went through her stuff they would find little notes. She knew that they would be saddened by her death and she wanted to ease their pain. Instead of crying as they went through her stuff they would smile with each little note she carefully wrote. As he told me about the special notes I could hear him beam with pride and love for his mother. Throughout his life he had admired her strength and courage. And in her little notes he was able to find a way to once again be inspired by her courage to accept her iminent death and plan to bring her family comfort even after she was gone.

Don't reach your boiling point

We all know that if your car engine is getting hot you have to let the car cool down. If you don't you know you will blow your engine. When you yourself  physically become overheated from the sun you know you have to get inside and cool down before you have a heat stroke. Don't forget that when you get angry you make your blood pressure rise. If you keep thinking about whatever angered you then your blood pressure will start to boil. The damage to your body when it reaches it's boiling point is the same as it is for your cars engine.

Learn how to be thankful for the problem you are facing

It may not have been a problem that you wanted to face, but if it is a problem that you are able to work around then be thankful for it. I know it is hard to imagine being thankful for any problem you have to face. But it could have been a bigger problem so be thankful. Obviously it would have been better if there was no problem at all. If you start dwelling on the fact that it happened you could turn it into a bigger problem that you will have to face. Like they say anyone can make a mountain out of a mole hill if they keep adding dirt. It is merely a setback not a knockdown.

One phase after another

We all go through many phases throughout our lifetime. When you are young you go through many phases within just a years time. I look at it as three phases in life. Your childhood, adulthood and getting old. They each come with their own set of challenges. Over time you forget what you actually did even go through throughout your lifetime. If you try to remember what your life was like you realize that you don't really remember much. You know it is what made you who you are today. Although later in life you may realize that what you thought happened never really happened quite the way you thought it did. I think the circle of life was planned so that you forget as time goes on so you can focus better on what you are going through in the phase of life you are in. Your thoughts become your reality even if they really didn't happen at all. I have seen family members argue over their memories of a past experiences being so different. The truth is you can put ten people in a room and show them all the same thing and you can get ten different answers when you asked them to describe what they saw. It just seems impossible but it is possible. It doesn't mean any of them are wrong either. How you look at something is all you can see.

Rushing to make it

Rushing to make a decision means you will make it without knowing what you should really choose. That is fine if you are choosing what to eat for dinner because it is no big deal if you don't like it. But most decisions you will have to make in your lifetime you will have to live with the consequences for a lifetime. In the fast paced world we live in today you can rush to make a decision. You need to stop long enough to get all the facts before you decide. You also can't sign on the dotted line without reading all the fine print. I recently watched the devastating consequences of someone who found that out, the hard way. They thought they were getting a good deal on 10 acres of land that they were going to build their dream home on. But what they bought was swamp land that they couldn't build a house on. They were upset that the realtor knew they were buying it to build on knowing that they wouldn't be able to. Although it was morally wrong to do that they legally got away with it. Now they have payments for the land and can't afford to buy a home at all. They forgot that if it sounds too good to be true then it probably isn't true. There is an old saying that comes to mind, If you believe that is true then I got some swamp land to sell you. Now they are trying to sell the land so they can buy something else. I wander if they will tell any potential buyer that it is swamp land? I wander how many times that realtor has made a commission on that  same property? People put profit above doing the right thing all the time. And they get away with it all the time. All the more reason to get all the information you need to make your decision before you decide. Because once it's done it's done and you will have to live with your decision for a lifetime.

You can't enjoy today if all you think about is what happened in your past

Trying to help someone move on from their painful experience if they keep it fresh on their mind, is impossible. Until they can JUST FLUSH IT out of their mind they will keep reliving it over and over again. It's like the movie Ground Hog Day. If they let a negative thought grab their attention when it pops up in their mind then they keep reliving their past over and over again. You can't get over it if you keep it fresh on your mind. You can't enjoy life while you are living it if you choose to only keep reliving your past. It's like never changing the channel on your TV and wandering why you missed your show which you know is on a different channel. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. You can't change what happened. It was bad enough when it happened once. Once was enough. It will keep popping up in your mind but at a quick glance you can JUST FLUSH IT so it can't do anymore damage. It's as easy as changing the channel on your TV.

You may find yourself backed against a wall but that doesn't mean you are stuck there

Not everything you go through in your lifetime will be easy. There will be times when you will feel like you are backed against a wall but it doesn't mean you have to stay there. That is unless you choose to stay there complaining about where you are.  You will have to JUST FLUSH IT and get up and go another direction. If you spend your time reliving what happened over and over again it will trap you where you are. You aren't trapped where you are unless you trap yourself. Like the church sign that inspired me said, "It's ok to sit on your pity-potty every now and again just be sure to FLUSH when you are done." We all have found ourselves stuck in difficult situations and although it was difficult we made the best of the situation we were in. If life gives you lemons then learn how to make lemonade.

You will miss it if you don't understand it

Have you ever experienced a feeling that a loved one that has passed away was trying to say hello? You may dismiss the thought because it seems so bizarre. But if you do then you will miss their hello. I have seen fan blades move when they were turned off. My friend just received a text from her friends old phone number. Any opportunity to feel them is an opportunity you may miss. Just enjoy the chance to feel their presence and don't waste it doubting that it is from them. Besides those occasional hellos you can associate them with an insect or flower when they pass away. Like a yellow butterfly then everytime you see a yellow butterfly you can take a moment to say hello to them every now and then. You know you miss them so don't miss an opportunity to enjoy reminiscing about them.

You can if you don't talk yourself out of it

Deciding what you want to do is the easy part. Figuring out how to do it will take some research. The hardest part is to not let what you have to do to accomplish it be sabotaged by your thoughts. There is a phrase that says "Anyone can make a mountain out of a mole hill if they keep adding dirt." Your thoughts can make you your own worst enemy. How you look at it will determine whether you will do it or not. Although it is as easy as stepping over the mole you can convince yourself that it is a mountain too big for you to climb. You have a chance unless you convince yourself that you have no chance at all. Your thoughts determine your reality even if in reality you have made a mountain out of a mole hill.

It starts with one hand

Being kind to someone doesn't take much effort. Like letting someone out when you are driving in rush hour traffic can certainly make them smile. And as they wave their hand to thank you for doing it, that makes you smile. That is if they take the time to wave. Would you wave to say thank you? It feels twice as good when there are two people in the car and they both wave. When you hold the door open for someone they can't help but make eye contact with you and greet you with a smile and say thank you. Without much effort you can share a smile with someone. Your smile hugs their face causing then to automatically smile back. Too often you hear people say there isn't anything they can do to make a positive difference in the world. But a smile means peace in any language. Just making them smile can distract them long enough to ease their mind. You have many opportunities throughout your day to see how many times you can make someone smile. At the end of the day you will smile knowing you made a positive difference to someone today. Be kind to everyone you meet because you have no idea what they may be facing.  Every act of kindness no matter how small makes a big difference in this crazy World we live in.

It signals the end is near

The Halloween decorations now fill the shelves of stores. When they come out you know it is near the end of another year. Before you know it we will be ringing in the new year. Time sure does seem to fly faster once the Halloween merchandise comes out. All the excitement of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas keep you so busy that before you know it Santa will be here. Start your New Year's resolution now to make getting out of debt a priority. Don't buy people gifts they don't need and you really can't afford. Ring in the new year celebrating that you didn't spend more money than you could afford. It can only be a fresh start in the New Year if you don't bring any personal or financial baggage into it.

Laughfter may not seem appropriate but...

I want to send a great big cyberspace hug to my dear friend who lost her Mom today. You were your Moms angel on earth and she will be yours in heaven. I am so lucky to have so many warm memories of her. I was concerned that those around you may not have understood why we laughed as we were sharing our memories of her. Your Mom always made people laugh. I am almost certain the conversations between her and your Granny will have God laughing too. Your memories of her will help ease your pain and make you laugh as she did here on earth. If words could ease your pain I would write you a book because I know your heart is broken. I may be too far away to hug you but I am always just a phone call away if you need me. We all have to ask ourselves what will people remember about us?

It is not what it should be

There is a famous quote that said "You have nothing to fear but fear itself." It used to mean to me that you can do anything you want if you don't let yourself fear it. But today when I took my teenage son to school there were several police cars in different areas of the school parking lot. Deep down inside I didn't want to drop him off not knowing what was going on. But I knew that I would have to. It was already the second time this school year that I had seen the police in the parking lot. And school has only been in session for three weeks. The school sent a message out to the parents an hour after dropping him off. There was another threat of violence against the school. I am totally grateful that they took the threat seriously and were there to prevent it. However I am shocked that this has become a common occurrence that we have to live with. There is no safe place anywhere anymore. There is no sure way to stop the insanity we see in society. Of course I talk to my son about the horrific events of mass shootings so he is aware of the dangers so that he can be causious and stay safe. But at the same time I know it also makes him fearful. I want to shelter him to protect him from worrying but I know I can't it is better if he knows. That really sucks that I am the one giving him the facts that I know will take away his peace of mind. It really hurt when I was dropping him off to hear him say he wished they would just call off school for the day. I could see the fear in his eyes. When it happened a week earlier the school was on lockdown and he spent the classroom time huddled in the closet with his classmates. They didn't do any school work they just hunkered down waiting to see if a shooter would start a killing rampage. This isn't how life should be. Unfortunately it is the life we all live in. So that famous saying means nothing today because fear is always present. You seriously have to fear every day because these tragedies occur everyday.

Taking the time to pick them up

It is pretty common to get flowers as a gift on a holiday. As you get older especially because by then you have way too much stuff and don't need anything. I enjoy putting them in little vases in several rooms of the house. The aroma in the air  is relaxing and calming. You get to enjoy them for a few days. I had been too busy to have everyone over for my birthday which unfortunately meant no one came bringing flowers. It wasn't a big deal I kept telling myself, yet I felt like something was missing. I knew that there had been other holidays without flowers yet I was feeling saddened to not have any. I kept telling myself JUST FLUSH IT and enjoy your birthday. Then I got a text that my grandkids had put their gifts they had gotten me on my porch. Everyone had a busy day planned which is why we hadn't been able to get together. But as they were out and about they had dropped it off. When I went out there I found a whole bunch of wild flowers they had picked for me. It was a beautiful boquet of flowers they had put in an old Mason jar with water. It brought such a smile to my face. I realized my grandkids really did know how happy the flowers on a holiday made me. I definitely thought I wasn't going to get any flowers. But what do you know, even though everyone was busy they took the time to pick them up and bring them to me. That made me feel very special on my special day. It doesn't have to cost a fortune nor does it require a lot of your time to make someone smile. You may be busy but it only takes a moment of your time to show someone you care.

If you want the answer you have to ask the question

You can't expect anyone to know what you need. If you need something then let them know. You can't get upset that you didn't get the answer you needed if you didn't ask the question you wanted an answer to. You will never know if you can do something if you never try to do it. If you make your decision without getting the facts then for a fact you may make the wrong decision. Even when you get all the facts you could still make the wrong decision but at least you know for a fact that you did so only after you considered all the facts. Without facts you are taking an uneducated guess.

Why didn't they warn us?

You learn many lessons throughout your lifetime. But will you pass on what you have learned? Will you give those around you heads up on what to expect? Unfortunately people hide the truth on what they have been through to learn what they know. Sometimes it's because they are embarrassed. Sometimes it's because they think it is something only they had to go through. Other times it's because they don't think anyone cares. It sure would be nice if you knew what to expect so you can be better prepared for it. If I would have known that your body is old at fifty I definitely would have been better prepared for it. I honestly thought you would be in good health still at fifty yet the truth is that is when you start facing the aches and pains, not when you turn seventy like I thought. I am sharing this with everyone now so you won't be caught off guard. Don't put too many stairs in your house or you will regret making it hard on yourself later in life. Don't put off what you can do today because tomorrow you might not be able to do it.

At the top of the list

You may have a long list of things to do but not all them are a necessity to get done. If you put them in order of importance you will find that a lot of them are not even important at all. You may have many dreams throughout your life time but some of them were just a fleeting thought. As time goes on what you dream about changes. You will find that what was important to you back then isn't important to you at all today. Your bucket list that you work on throughout your life is reserved for only the things on the top of your list. The key words above are "work on throughout your life." Some things you have to do while you are young and healthy so you can't wait to do it when you are old and frail. If you miss your window of opportunity then you may find the things on your bucket list turn into a list of things that you can't do. If it's important to you then it is important that you put it at the top of your list. If it doesn't really matter to you then it won't matter if you do it or not.

It feels like Twilight Zone

There are times when you feel like this really can't be happening. It feels like you are in Twilight Zone. As if this can't possibly be real. If you have ever seen the old show you know that nothing is ever what it seems to be. It is an eerie uneasy feeling. Trouble is it is your "new reality." As uncomfortable as it may be it is something that you have to accept because it is what it is. You may feel like you can make things go back to what you were comfortable with but you can't. You just can't. No matter how drastically different it is the sooner you can accept it the sooner you will feel comfortable with it. Struggling to understand how on Earth it could even be happening will only make you struggle harder to adapt to it. If it is what it is then do whatever it takes to feel comfortable in the skin your in.

Today is yours to enjoy or not

Yesterday is already gone and tomorrow may not come but today is yours to enjoy or not enjoy. It is that simple. There is nothing you can do about what happened yesterday. Tomorrow may never come for you or someone you love. But today is yours to enjoy. Like the plaque on my wall says... I asked God for all things that I might enjoy Life. He gave me Life that I might enjoy all things. Will you choose to enjoy today? Or will you spend it thinking about what happened yesterday. It is necessary to plan for your future but you may not be around to enjoy it. The only way to enjoy Life is to enjoy it while you are living it.

Just because you can't see it now doesn't mean it wasn't there

Have you ever went to grab something that you had seen many times before yet now it isn't there? You search your memory bank to see if that is where you saw it. You are certain that is where you saw it. You look all around the area thinking the only logical answer is that it must have fallen close by. Since you need it you keep looking elsewhere yet keep returning to look where you last saw it. As if it was just temporarily invisible but now you will be able to see it sitting right where you remembered. As you keep searching other places in your house you finally find it. You try to figure out how it could have been moved there. Then a memory pops up front and center in your mind. You suddenly remember moving it there so you wouldn't forget where it was later when you need it. You realize that if you would have just left it where it was you would have found it a long time ago.

Deciding what to do can make your head spin

I gave my grandkids some inexpensive new tablet chargers. They were just as  excited about them as they were on Christmas morning when they opened their new tablets. They were all a different color so they would always know if it was theirs or one of their siblings. It was like Christmas in August. Which got me thinking about when I start my Christmas shopping. Instead of expensive presents I am going to by the adults and children more useful inexpensive items. Like chargers and head phones, and extension cords, rechargeable battery set, and flashlights. All the little things that they need throughout the year. Buying someone what they need sometimes means more to them then buying them what they say they want.

It can be as different as night and day

Depending on where you live will be what you experience in your life. Sometimes you live where it is very cold and you learn how to adapt to the cold. Likewise those living where it is hot or dry or rainy learn to adapt. The differences from place to place makes all the difference in the world on what you will have to do to make your life the best it can be.  Heck even if you never live in but one town your whole life you will have to adapt to the changes that naturally occur over time. As you grow older you will learn that even if you don't like the way things keep changing you better adapt as they change. Because like it or not that's just how things are going to be. And it's important to get done what you need and to do that you will have to know what has changed so you will know how to get it done. How things worked in the past won't work today. Things may be different for someone else so what works for you may not work for them and visa versa. Like they say, different strokes for different folks.

Why won't they let them close their doors?

We all at some time have been excitedly waiting for the UPS truck to arrive to deliver a package. Have you ever wandered why delivery drivers like UPS always have their doors open? When it is blistering hot outside they can't be cooled by the air conditioning. It definitely isn't as safe if they happen to wreck either. Unfortunately sometimes when packages arrive they are occasionally broke when you take them out of the box.
  Now you have to find a way to send it back. When you own a little car the box might not fit in it for you to return it. It happened to a friend and she wore herself out trying to make it fit. Then out of nowhere as she started to bring the large package back inside a UPS truck pulled up to her house. She had not been waiting on a package but she had never been so excited to see a UPS truck that she wasn't waiting for but she sure was praying for help. Although he looked exhausted after he had been hauling packages all day he took her big box to return it.
  She said she felt more happy about UPS taking away her box than she had ever felt when getting any box she had ordered. She was so excited about UPS showing up unexpectedly when she felt defeated. She was no longer angry that it was delivered late and it had arrived broken. She was no longer frustrated  that it wouldn't fit in her car. She was able to JUST FLUSH IT all because she focused on the fact that the UPS truck showed up out of the blue and took the big box.
 
 

Will you regret it?

You will make many choices throughout your life. Some choices are everyday routine things that you automatically do out of habit. You don't have to think about it at all. Some choices will have a huge impact on your life and those you need to think long and hard about before you make a choice you will regret. Your built in warning system will usually go off when you are about to make a choice you will regret and you need to choose to listen to it. You sure don't want to be saying to yourself later when you are suffering the consequences,  that you knew better than to make that choice. It's bad enough to hear someone else tell you I told you so. It is worse when you knew better and yet you chose to do it. We all make mistakes that at the time we think are the right thing to do. But it is not a mistake when you did it despite knowing it was a mistake before you did it. When you feel your warning system go off deep down inside, it's not gas. Before you make your choice ask yourself, will I regret this?

A lightning bolt can strike without warning

One minute it can be slightly raining then out of nowhere, you are jolted by the sound of a lightning strike. It may have hit the ground but it shook the house. Your body quivers as it is caught off guard by the sound when it strikes the ground. When mother nature brings severe weather you are reminded that it can strike anyone, anywhere at anytime. With hurricane season upon us I hope you are prepared to ride out the storm if it heads your way. We also face storms out of nowhere in our personal lives too. There are good days and bad days. At anytime we may experience an unexpected negative situation that came out of nowhere. You can't prepare for something that you never saw coming. But what you do after it strikes will determine how well you survive it. Your life's journey is made as you go through it. If you know it is going to rain then bring an umbrella. If you see trouble coming get out of the way.

Waiting is easier if you search the internet while you wait

When you find yourself sitting in a busy waiting room you have too much time to think about how long you are having to wait. In the old days lots of the waiting rooms had fish tanks there to distract you. They didn't want to be greeted by an angry person. The sound of the water filter of the tank as you watched the fish swim around made your time waiting peaceful and relaxing. Nowadays they may have a tv on but it is usually on something you don't want to watch. With the help of your phone you can now be distracted as you search the internet. You know it's easy when you are on the internet at home to feel like you were only on it fifteen minutes or so but it had actually been an hour. If you find yourself having to wait somewhere just visit my web site to read old blogs. I have been blogging three days a week for nearly nine years and they are all on here ready to help relax you anywhere you are whenever you need distracted.

All you can do sometimes is watch them sabotage themselves

Have you ever known someone who constanly says they can't do it so therefore they never try. You know they can do it just like others do. It may not be what other's want to do nor do they know how to but because they have to they get up and figure out how to do it. You sabotage any chance of you doing it. In the end you will pay the consequences for not doing it. When your first thought is to say "I can't" stop before you say it out loud and think about that little ant that moved that rubber tree plant. Or think about the little engine who could as he changed I think I can to I know I can. When you know you can do it if you try then you will try for anything you want or need. Your thoughts make up your reality. You can't reach your dreams if you never dream.

Where did it go?

One simple touch of a button while on the internet and everything in front of you disappears. And sometimes it disappears into cyberspace never to be seen again. You can hit any button you want but you won't find it. Where does it go? You can research it again starting over thinking it will pop up again but if it got sent to the cyberspace triangle you know it is gone. I was frustrated thinking about how easily it disdapeared then I thought about just how easily a thought can be on the tip of your tongue one minute then it disappears. And no matter how hard you try to remember it you can't. Suddenly after making this comparison to something that has happened to me many times the frustration over what had disappeared into cyberspace just disappeared. I was able to relax and quit looking for it. 

Company visiting makes you eat way more than you should

When company is visiting from out of state you eat way more than you normally would. You seem to be always wandering if they might be hungry and cook way more than anyone can eat. Unfortunately the leftovers that you shove in the refrigerator take up a lot of space. But instead of pulling out the leftovers to eat you either go out to eat or cook your guest another meal. Going out to eat gets very expensive and the leftovers you waste add up to a lot of money wasted. After they leave when you clean out the refrigerator you realize that you wasted a lot of good food. This year I tried to avoid wasting money by buying lunch meat with side dishes so for at least lunch each day they could make only what they want whenever they got hungry. I planned to only eat out three times during the week that they visited. But as we ran around town each day we would get suddenly very hungry. Too hungry to drive home to eat sandwhiches so we would end up going out to eat for lunch. Later I didn't want to feed them sandwiches for dinner so I would end up cooking way too much and shoving the leftovers in the fridge. My plans to prevent wasting so much money on food wasn't working. It's like trying to have everyone over for a holiday and not have more food than they can eat. It's just not possible. So I have to accept that when company comes from out of town it's a week long holiday. And it's going to be expensive and just like after Thanksgiving or Christmas, when it's over I will be throwing away lots of leftovers. So next time I can at least not waste any money buying lunchmeat and salads that no one will eat because then it's fresh new food that gets thrown away along with all the other leftovers. I hope my relatives don't read this and think I don't want them to visit. I love getting to spend time with them and having them here is worth the money. So this time to prepare for their visit next year I am going to start a piggy bank. That way by the time they come back to visit I only have to plan on opening the bank not waste my time worrying about how much food gets wasted.

You can if you think you can

As long as you think you can then you will. It's not always the right way you should do it but you will do it. You need more than the right tools, you need the right attitude if you are going to get it done. With grandkids ranging in age you certainly see that they all can do what they need to do to achieve the same thing. But they all do it differently because they do it however it is they can. Sometimes the older kids will say the younger kids aren't doing it right. You can't do something wrong if in the end you did what you needed to. We are all different and we do things differently. In the end it doesn't matter how you did it as long as you get 'r done.

Money isn't everything unless you don't have enough

There are many rich people who are not happy. Now to those that don't have enough money to pay the bills they assume that if only they were rich they would be happy. But the truth is whether you are rich or poor your state of mind determines whether you are happy or not. It definitely isn't based on the state of your finances nor what state or country you live in. To be happy and comfortable in your own skin you have to be happy and comfortable
with what you are doing in the skin your in. I can imagine that is actually harder to have a true friend when you are rich. Because those around you will say and do whatever it takes to stay around you for the expensive lifestyle it brings them. A true friend will tell you the truth because they truly love you. Being poor together you bond by helping each other through the tough times. It is better to eat on paper plates surrounded by people who love you then to eat on fine china surrounded by leeches. Although being rich would be hard I still dream about winning the lottery or teaming up with a business partner to make JUST FLUSH IT a successful business. I already have true friends who I have known for decades who aren't afraid to tell me exactly what they think.

Your stories can ease their mind

Have you noticed that a quick one or two lines in a text or email may be the only conversation we have with others? Gathering face to face to enjoy conversations about nothing in particular just whatever pops up doesn't happen any more. There was a time when you could connect as if you were sitting in the same room by hearing someone's voice on the phone. But in a quick sentence you have to get right to the point. No chance for random "small talk" to occur. I remember simple "small talk" that has helped me and those around me when throughout life as we experience something similar. Those that have grown up on technology are not likely to experience the chance for any "small talk" that could help them one day. I know almost anything can be found on Google but hearing it from a personal experience of someone you know makes you understand it better. Try making sure that those you love you don't consider a sentence every now and then enough. It should be at least one hour a week of real conversations at the minimum. It may be the "small talk" that you need to stimulate your human side.

Are they ignoring it?

Most contact we have with other people is through cyberspace. Which makes it far too easy to ignore a message and simply say I never saw it. We all know that a message stays lit up until it is read. You have to take the time to at least acknowledge it and mark it as read to stop the alert of a new message. So how can they say they didn't see it. They saw it but they chose to ignore it. Obviously they are not going to say that. It is easier to let people down when you are disguised in cyberspace. It is much harder to do if you are looking face to face at a person. Technology has a lot of good points but it is turning people into robots without the ability to have human compassion. If you wouldn't say it to their face why would you think it is okay to say it in cyberspace?

You don't want it until you go to give it away

My friend was going to have a yard sale so I decided it would be a good time to go through stuff around the house to get rid of. I had plenty of boxes from Amazon for recent birthday gifts I had ordered. I started with the little things tucked here and there. It was quite an assortment of items. Then I started going through closets. I was surprised at the number of boxes I filled up. As I went along I stacked all the boxes of items to get rid of along a wall. I didn't close the boxes because I was still gathering and sorting the items. I watched as everyone that walked by them couldn't resist stopping to dig in them. This stuff had been here a long time and no one was ever interested in them at all. But now that I am getting rid of them they rifle through them and excitedly pull out things to keep like they were shopping. This time though it didn't cost me any money. As we were loading them in the van to drop them off at her house I too started having second thoughts about getting rid of a couple of items. And before I knew it I was excitedly digging through the boxes to retrieve them. Later that night as I was laughing so hard about digging for treasure in what was once thought of as junk you needed to get rid of. Then I thought of a funny idea about taking the contents in a "junk" drawer and put it in a bag and sell it. Do you think someone would buy it as a grab bag to dig through it to see if they can find treasure in with all the junk?

You will never know how much until it's gone

As my youngest child is now almost a grown up I know that soon he too will move out on his own. As my other children moved out one by one I always still had young ones that filled the house with life. But now I will have a quiet home that is lacking the happy spirit of a child. Sure I will see them on holidays and the grandkids will visit but for the most part it will be actually lonely. You spend so many years getting a house big enough for everyone and then before you know it you don't need a big house anymore. Except a few days a year you need the space for them to come to visit on holidays. Holidays will be more special to me now more than ever. I have to figure out how to have the food prepared before they get here so I can sit down and enjoy every moment they are here. Enjoying our time together has become rare occurences so therefore it is more important than ever before. I may have always wanted more time to myself as they were growing up but I never thought about having way too much time by myself. I am lucky to have grandchildren still young enough to want to come to Grandma's house to visit. And they live only three miles away. I know how fast they grow up so I see them whenever I can. I don't want to miss their youth because I know that is the only time I have before they grow up and move away too. It may have been a little tough when they were young but it is really tough to find yourself alone in a big quiet lifeless house. And a lot darker when no one is there to leave all the lights on.

Plan your life around it

Every afternoon you know it will rain so you got to plan your day around it. Getting frustrated over something that you know is going to happen doesn't make any sense. If you know what to expect then you know what you have to work with. There are people who you know have certain ways of doing things and you expect it. If you accept it you won't be annoyed by it. Before you can move past things you have to accept it first so you can quit stressing over it. Which is what I had to do when I realized I had forgotten to blog on friday. I had to accept it because it was now Saturday. Have a happy weekend everyone.

Bigger is not always better

There will come a time when you know a bigger store doesn't make it better when you can't walk as far. For sure when it comes to gifts those small but expensive newest electronic gadgets are what they want. Of course a big bill is not what anyone wants to pay. But worst of all is when you make a mountain out of a molehill when you keep adding dirt. Which means you have a small problem that by your negative reaction that turns it into a big problem. It is the small things in life that you treasure more than anything. That is if you don't miss out on them while you chase after a big thing that is always out of reach.

Wow it is hard to believe that they really think it is okay to spew hate on others.

Unfortunately there are far too many people who are comfortable spewing their hate on anyone they come in contact with. Especially those who sit behind their internet gadgets who are desensitized to the damages it has on anyone. I just read a person's comment on a site that advertised to anyone with the next million dollar idea to contact his office. I decided to respond to get their feedback. Within 3 minutes he sent a response cussing me out for contacting him. I couldn't believe it. Did he tell people to contact him so he could have more victims to spew hate at? I struggled whether to apologise to him. It bothered me and I eventually did apologize. Although he was wrong to talk to me that way his message also said he was having a epic bad day and my email made it worse. For causing him more stress I had to apologise to ease my own conscience.  It did but it also still left me stunned at what he had said to me. And I have had to keep flushing it over and over again because it keeps popping up in my mind over and over again.  I guess his mom either forgot to tell him that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all or he forgot and someone should tell his mom so she can make him stop doing that. But considering his picture made him to appear to be middle aged he probably would not listen to her anyways. Be kind to everyone you come in contact with because you should and you have no idea what they may be facing. Mr. Miller if you ever read this you should be ashamed of yourself for your response and I hope one day you can feel remorseful for the hate you spew on your innocent victims that  cross your path.

You may be surprised yourself at what flies out of your mouth

Have you ever asked yourself, why did I just say that? We all have. Now if you said it while you were angry your probably saying to yourself, I sure wish I had not said that. When you are just having small talk about random things you have a lot of chances of saying something that you have no idea why you said it. Like today I was just talking to someone young who recently had gotten married and had their first child. As someone who had been married for 36 years I thought I would give them something useful they could do to keep them happily married for life. I thought for a split second then out popped one of those things that make you wander, why did I say that? I said have separate bedrooms so you can each have your own space to go to. Now I would gladly say that anytime to couples who had been married around 20 years and were experiencing tension that could lead to divorce. But to my surprise they quickly responded with, oh yeah didn't everybody do that back in the fifties? There I stood dumbfounded and wandering how on Earth they even know that. That was over sixty years ago.

You are what you think you are

If you say you can't do it then there is no doubt you won't because you won't try to do it. If you tell yourself you are just no good at balancing then I suggest you stay off the balance beam. You can be your own worst enemy. It's ok to say I never done that before so I'm not sure if I can. That leaves the door open to trying it one day. It's ok to say I didn't do good at it last time I tried, because that leaves the door open to trying it again. But to matter of factly say no I can't do that means you are not going to try and you slam the door shut. You can't be all you can be nor can you enjoy everything that you could because you keep saying you can't. You have to stop sabotaging yourself. Your thoughts make up the reality you live. Even if it is not true if you believe it is then to you it is true.

Do you read the fortune cookie when you get one?

As soon as we get home with our Chinese takeout food I dig in the bag and get the fortune cookies out first. We each choose one and read it out loud. It is hard to believe that in all these years we have never gotten a duplicate. Sometimes they seem to know what we need to hear at that moment in time. Sometimes they are powerfully motivating. They always make you take a moment out of your busy day to relax as you find the meaning it has for you. They really caught my attention and I started saving all the fortunes out of them. I keep the really good ones in a separate spot so I can read them whenever I need a little inspiration. I have never played the lottery numbers  that are also printed on the fortune cookie perhaps I should.

Should I reply or is it best to not reply?

Before you even consider replying remember that it will be done in permanent ink. Once you send it you can never take it back. I don't know about you but before I hit that send button I read it a couple of times. Cyberspace is a complex place that everything you do there is stored in permanent ink. You will know that when your local grocery sends you an email saying all your favorites are on sale this week. Because every item on the list you do buy weekly. Means you can't even hide just how unhealthy you eat because they are watching you and they know everything.  If you look something up out of simple curiosity or boredom the next thing you know you get spammed by anything and everything realated to it. Your on a list sent out into cyberspace the second you open the hatch by clicking on it. You have to keep that in mind before you decide to jump out there.

Enjoy it when you can before you can't

Waiting until you can is the right thing to do. You just have to make sure that you do it when you can because you can. If you don't you might find out that one day you can't. For instance there are somethings you can only do at low tide and some things you can only do at high tide. Timing is everything, sometimes. What interest you one day can easily be forgotten about over time. As I watch my grandkids grow up so fast I am totally aware that I need to enjoy every moment of their childhood. Because when they grow up I know I won't see them very often to enjoy being with them. The older you get you truly enjoy your memories so you know how important it is to create as memories as you can whenever you can, while you can.

Halfway there doesn't necessarily mean you land in the middle

Starting to build a staircase then quitting halfway through it doesn't get you where you need to be. Either you have to finish it or you wasted your time. The same is true if you don't get that promotion that you worked so hard for. That doesn't mean that your hard work wasn't noticed and that your reward is soon coming. Well unless your reaction at the time is so negative that you are sure not going to get what you had deserved before you reacted. You can lose everything you earned if you don't keep going until you get to the finish line. Would you say you ran a 26 mile Marathon if you quit after 20 miles and never actually crossed the finish line? If you agree to meet someone in the middle will you do everything you said you would? Doing your part doesn't mean you can do only the part of it that you wanted to. Well I guess it can be your part but at least admit that you didn't meet in the middle. In the good old days they use to say, A man is only as good as his word. Nowadays they say, You can't believe a word you hear. If you say you are going to do something then do it simply because you said you would. Honestly the only way people can get along is to be honest with each other. An honest NO is better than giving them false hope that keeps them from looking somewhere else. In the good old days you could look at someone's face and know if they are lying. Nowadays they can lie straight to your face without twitching at all. Their eyes are so dark that you can't see even a glimpse of their soul. Holding people to their word may leave you stuck in the middle of a bridge that only got built halfway. The only good thing about that is you can turn around and look at it as you are halfway home. And going home is a lot easier than everything you had to do to meet halfway.

The reason may not be clear

The reason may be more complicated than you can put in words. Sometimes you are asked why yet there are many factors that are both fact and feelings. And how you feel may not be anything they can relate to. But how you feel may be the most important factor in your reason why. Sometimes it is just easier to say there simply is no way to explain why. Even if you can't explain it the fact is you alone decided and you alone know why. Not everything has an answer that anyone but you can understand.

Your opinion may be all that really matters but...

We all have our own opinions but respecting other people's opinions has to be an opinion we all have in common. Even though in the end we know we are going to do whatever in our opinion alone that we think is best for ourselves. We don't have to agree with their opinion by no means. All we have to do is agree that everyone has a right to have their own opinion. Agreeing to disagree with each other is all we have to do like we do daily with our family and friends. Which we have to do because we know that it's the only way to get along. Their opinion matters as much to them as your opinion matters to you. And who knows if by respecting each other you both might change your opinion enough to meet in the middle. 

Who would have thought that the card aisle could be so much fun?

We only visit the card aisle on a few special occasions through out the year. But when we do we have a fun little outing reading many of them before we find the right one. You smile and laugh and it  leaves you feeling relaxed and happy. You always find a perfect card to fit the person you are buying it for. This time I found a card that fit my message about JUST FLUSH IT perfectly. On the front it said "Relax and go find your happy place". When you opened it up, up popped a toilet as you heard the FLUSHING sound. It's as if I could have made that card. I look forward to the next holiday to have fun in the card aisle again. But nothing I will ever find will be as cool as the card someone made just for me. The best gift you could ever give someone isn't an expensive present they don't need and that you can't afford. It's a card that lets them know you were thinking about them when you got it.

When you realize it has been decades ago you know you are old

As you go through life you accumulate a lot of things that you buy along the way. At the time you get them you see a need for each and every one of them. But when you go through a cabinet and find things you bought decades ago you know you are old. Just the words decades ago sounds ancient. I remember the day I looked in the mirror and said wow you look 50 years old. I immediately began laughing as I realized I really was 50 years old. That is five decades. I remember the day my father in law visited me decades ago and it was at my house that he looked in my bathroom mirror and realized he was old.  We talked about how strange it was to look so old yet in his mind he thought like he did when he was a young man. Even decades later when we talked he said his mind was still young but his body definitely was aging. As I looked in the mirror at the image of an old person staring back at me no matter how young my mind felt it was  a fact that without a doubt, I was old. It is a good thing to feel young at heart but when you are old so is your heart so don't wear it out doing things it just can't handle.

Save your time and energy

Sometimes you know you have far too many things that you want to get done that you simply don't have time to do. You fill your mind with so many thoughts about what you want to get done and trying to figure out how on Earth you could. You rack your brain so hard thinking that you are physically exhausted. Without even moving physically it feels like you need a break. When you find yourself with more than you can do the first thing you need to do is be honest with yourself that you don't have time and accept it. Then you need to go over your "to do" list and anything that isn't a necessity to get done, JUST FLUSH IT out of your mind. Instantly you will feel a weight off your shoulders. That alone will energize you to tackle the ones that really need to get done. Being honest with yourself is the first step to getting things done.

The summer heat makes the winter a distant memory

The winter freezes make you long for spring to come. But right behind spring comes the blistering heat of summer. Which can be so unbearable that you look forward to the cool breezes of fall that blows in the winter freezes. Every season has a purpose that is necessary for nature's life cycle. There are things we enjoy doing during winter, spring, summer and fall. In order to enjoy the seasons you have to accept that you will also experience freezing temperatures and blistering heat at times. Throughout your life you go through many seasons and part of it is painful. But in order to enjoy life you just have to accept that. You get through the tough parts by knowing the season will be over soon.

Every one may be looking at the same thing but...

Have you ever heard someone describe something that you both experienced together and you knew that you didn't experience anything like that? Ten people could experience the same thing and describe it differently. They may be looking at the same thing but each person tends to focus on a part of it that catches their attention. Heck when each of us watch a movie that we have seen before we see small parts that we don't remember seeing. That is because the first time you were focused on what was happening between the main characters in a particular scene so intently that you couldn't see anything that was going on around them. But watching it the second time you already know what happens so you are able to focus on what is going on around them. When you are facing a tough situation in life try looking at things from more than one point of view.  You can't see a positive side to the situation you are dealing with if you don't look for one. Remember the old saying "seek and you shall find".

It's easy to hear it yet not understand what you heard

Have you heard of the old saying "when it rains it pours"? In case you haven't they are not talking about the weather. It is saying there are times in your life when you have to face one negative issue after another. What about the old saying "a watched pot never boils"? Each generation has their own "sayings" that make perfect sense and are self explanatory only if it was commonly said in your generation. When an "old saying" just rolls out of my mouth those younger than my generation look at me like I got two heads. But when my teenage son said "slow your roll" the other day I know the look on my face let him know I sure didn't understand what it meant but it sounded like a sarcastic comment. Once he explained it to me it did make sense but to me it still sounded strange. Sometimes the misunderstandings between the different generations is simply due to how we "SAY" things differently.

If you can't then how can anyone else?

If you can't get over it then it will never be over. You can't get over it if you keep it fresh on your mind. That only makes you relive it over and over again. You let it beat you down over and over again. It only happened once and that was enough. Why would you keep putting yourself through it over and over again? Accept it for what it is and learn from it then JUST FLUSH IT out of your mind. Sure it may pop up in your mind again and again but as long as you JUST FLUSH IT as it comes it can't hurt you again and again. You had no choice the first time it hurt you but it is your choice whether you let it hurt you again and again. You can't move forward if you don't learn how to JUST FLUSH IT so it can't hold you back.

How you look at it determines what you see

When I send out our customers monthly bills I randomly put a stamp on one or two customers return envelope. It was my way of bringing an unexpected smile to someone when they open their bill. After doing it for years we received our first phone call from the recipient of a stamped envelope. But to my surprise he was calling because the free stamp that I thought would make anyone smile actually made him mad. He felt like it was our way of saying he had a problem paying his bill. He actually quit just a few weeks later. It was a reaction that I had never thought about. Needless to say after his phone call I stopped putting a stamp on an envelope each month. It made me wander how many other customers I had upset and how many I had made smile. It was a reminder that you never know how anyone will see things. All you can do is enjoy  your half full glass of milk.

It may not be everything you dreamed of but...

When you are facing rough times you dream of what you wish would happen to fix it. When you are dreaming you tend to dream so big that it becomes unrealistic to think it actually could happen. So remember that when you do get it fixed enough to get through it. It isn't everything you dreamed it would be but you should be thankful that it is at least everything you needed. As long as you have what you need you can relax while you are dreaming. I believe that is why the divorce rate is so high because their dreams of what married life would be like were just unrealistic. I have been married for 36 years and just the simple fact that we are still married is a dream come true even though it was nothing like I dreamed about. You can be successful in business even if it isn't everything you dreamed it could be. Some dreams really do come true but you don't acknowledge them because they are not exactly as big as you had dreamed. Don't miss out on all of the "little things" that happen in your life because you are too busy chasing after something so big that you will probably never be able to reach it. To enjoy what you have you have to be thankful for what you have.

The sound of the rain

As I sat on my porch during the rain storm the sound of music was playing loudly. As the rain came down it landed on the metal chair making a steady rhythm like the beat of a drum. As it bounced off of the chair it made a ping as it fell onto the table next to it. At first it was music for my ears. Then all of a sudden came a loud bolt of lightning that shook the ground. You could no longer hear the sound of music only the thunder roaring.  In a flash I quickly ran inside. Once inside I could no longer hear the music it now sounded like a war. With every lightning strike it felt like a cannon had fell to the ground causing the house to shake. Eventually the storm had passed and the sky was blue and you could hear the birds chirping happily as they waited for the worms to come out. The frogs were all croaking with delight at the puddles they could play in. The sound of the animals after the storm was music to my ears. It reminded me that in life you go through rainstorms that sometimes turn into tornadoes but if you hang on when the storm passes you will be able to enjoy the sounds of music again.

Don't wait for an answer to a question that there simply is no answer to.

There may not be an answer to your question, not even on Google. But that doesn't mean that you can't keep moving along. We naturally want to know why things have happened. But regardless of whether we will ever know why or not, the fact is it did happen. You don't need the answer to why it happened, you simply need to know that you have to accept it. Which reminds me of the church sign that inspired me. "It's ok to sit on your pity potty every now and again just be sure to FLUSH when you are done." So when you find yourself with a question that has no answer that the answer is always JUST FLUSH IT to keep moving.

You don't even realize that you are doing it

My teenage son and I have in depth conversations about random subjects that are brought to our attention by our local news. One of his teachers also includes discussing current events in the news. Unfortunately we have had to discuss the school shootings that no child or parent or teachers or anyone should have to. The subject of the type of culture that we all have to live in creates these situations always comes up. For generations the "ADULTS" have ignored the deteriating compassion for one another. Family unity and community unity is necessary to stop the insanity we see in society. You can't possibly ignore that our children are not even safe at schools. They are not even safe in their own homes because the drive by shooter doesn't care who gets hit by the bullets they fire. They are desensitized to caring about any human life. It's time we stand United to stop the violence. It starts with raising our children to have compassion for everyone. To have respect for one another. Give them the ability to grow up without fear of a bullet coming at them.

If you decide before it happens then you will determine what happens

If you decide how something is going to turn out before you even get there then you prevent what was supposed to happen from happening. You can be so focused on what to expect that you are in defense mode. And the look on your face and your demeanor when you are in defense mode can change the whole situation. Have you ever looked in the mirror when you are agitated? The way you are thinking about things affects everything. That is why people are always saying you have to think positive thoughts if there is any chance for a positive outcome. Your thoughts are your reality. Keep an open mind so that when an opportunity comes along you don't miss your opportunity. Opportunities don't come along often so don't let your thoughts limit your chances of getting any opportunity at all.

Once upon a time

Once upon a time there was community unity. The phrase it takes a village to raise a child comes to mind. I not only had my parents watching me but the neighbors were watching too. And back then the neighbors talked to your parents to let them know anything they might have not seen. Nowadays everyone keeps to themselves and they do everything they can to not even notice anyone. If they do see anything they sure don't take the time to tell anyone. As a child I was annoyed when the neighbors would tell on me but as an adult I would give anything if neighbors still watched out for each other. Together we can bring back community unity by uniting to make our neighborhoods safe.

Changing with the times

As time goes by there are a lot of changes that happen. Like your new electronics become old and obsolete in a year. My grandkids even change what they like to eat from month to month making their old favorites that I just stocked up on obsolete. And when you get old the food you eat changes to what agrees with your body. What you can buy cheap one day can sky rocket the next day like the price of gas lately. What worked in the old days won't work today because times have changed. You will just have to accept the changes and change with the times to navigate through life. After you experience decades of changes you can barely remember how things used to be like not having a cell phone. Today it is a necessity that you can't imagine being without. If you don't keep up with the changes you will find yourself lost in the dark about things you need to know. You may not like all the changes but you will have to make the necessary changes to stay on track in life.

Talking about it and doing something about it are totally opposite

People constantly talk to each other about what they see as problems. They can give many details and examples of the problem. They are full of ideas about what should be done about them. But unfortunately they just talk about it with no actions to even attempt to do anything to fix the problem. Talk is cheap action speaks volumes. Just like you may talk about what you need to build and you can make a list of the supplies you need. Even if you have a good plan of how you can do it and you know what you need it means nothing unless you buy what you need and you do the work to do it. Don't just talk about it get up and do what you need to do.

It could take years before the reason is clear

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. One day you will look back and the reason it happened will be suddenly clear because you realize had it not happened you wouldn't be where you are today. It can sometimes be so difficult when you are going through it that you can't see any positive reason why  it could be happening. The reason sometimes is to help someone else get where they need to be. But most of the time it is exactly what had to happen to get you where you need to be. It may feel like a tornado just came into your life and destroyed everything but whether you will admit it or not you were never going to get there so it took a tornado to move you there. Just hold on tight and see where you land when it's over. Then you can get up and put your feet firmly on the ground and grow wherever you are planted.

What are they being taught at home?

While I was doing my grocery shopping I saw two examples of "parenting" that will definitely have a negative impact on the adults those children will become. The first incident was a young girl around five years old. She accidentally knocked over a few items that were stacked on display. Her immediate reaction (as it should be) was to say oops and bend down to start picking them up off the floor. But as she was doing it her mother told her to stop and come on. So the little girl got up leaving them scattered all over the floor. What lesson did that child learn? Even though you are born with a conscience you can be taught to ignore it. Then in the freezer aisle I watched two boys around seven and nine start opening one freezer door after another grabbing an item out and putting it in a totally different section. Out of the two freezer aisles they scattered around fifty or so items. All the way through both aisles their mother would glance back at them as they giggled while they were opening and closing the many doors. But instead of stopping them she would turn her head and continue down the aisle. What lesson did those boys learn? Every home is a classroom and every parent is a teacher.

You may not always get it done in time but as long as you get it done that is what is most important

Sometimes you can be so busy that you run out of time. But as along as you get it done as soon as you can that is the important thing. Sometimes you just forget about it. But as long as when you remember you get it done that is the important thing. Sometimes you realize that it can't be done just exactly the way you had planned. But however you have to do it as long as it gets done that is the important thing. Doing things the best you can with any circumstances you may be facing is the most important thing. If is important to you then the only thing that matters is the fact you got it done. Everything in life doesn't always go as you had planned but if it is important to you then you can always get it done.

Do you think you should be doing that?

Think about all the choices you made today. Are you happy with the choices you made? Did you do anything that now after thinking about it, that you wish you would have done differently? Everyday we make choices that make a difference to ourselves and others. Don't forget choosing to do nothing is also a choice you make. At the end of the day we all want to be happy with the choices we made.

Trying to remember a word while it plays hide and seek in your brain

Sometimes the word you want to say is right on the tip of your toungue then poof it disappears. You might have even said it two or three times already but suddenly you can't think of the word. You concentrate real hard trying to think of what it was. It is frustrating when you know you know it. It is as if the word has decided to play hide and seek with you. It is in there but it is hiding within your mind. After searching for a moment you give up and go on with your conversation. Then later that day out of the clear blue the word pops up front and center in your mind. As if to say hey here I am did you forget you were looking for me. Of course you had forgotten. But when you see it you feel excited that you finally know the word. You know that you probably only got a fifty fifty chance whether you will remember that word the next time it comes up in a conversation.