Friday, February 28, 2020

Getting angry about it hurts you so JUST FLUSH IT

Sure it will anger you but the damages you cause yourself from being angry, is something you can prevent. You may not have been able to prevent the situation you are in but you can prevent yourself from making the situation worse then it is. Anything and everything you do or say will determine the outcome. If you react negatively then you will have a negative outcome, because two wrongs don't make a right. You need to delay your reaction until you have had time to think about what your actions will bring. You will realize that you need to accept it, what's done is done and JUST FLUSH IT out of your mind to prevent anymore damage. You may have had no choice whether it happened or not but it is your choice whether you let it hurt you over and over again or not. JUST FLUSH IT so it can't hurt you anymore.

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

You are who you think you are

You can be your own worst enemy. You are who you think you are so don't worry about what other people think about you, the only thing that matters is what you think about yourself. You may not get a compliment or a pat on the back from others, so give yourself a pat on the back. You may not be the best at everything but as long as you do the best you can, then you should be proud of yourself. To feel comfortable in the skin you are in you have to be comfortable with what you do in the skin you are in. It doesn't matter what other people do, you have to do what makes you happy. It doesn't matter what anyone else tells you that you should do. You do what you need to do because you are the only one that has to live with the consequences for everything you do. No one is perfect so don't judge yourself so harshly because you are not perfect. If you tell yourself that you can't do it then you won't do it because you will never try to do it. You can either be your biggest cheerleader or your worst enemy. Which one you choose is up to you.

Monday, February 24, 2020

What will change because of it?

You can learn from your mistakes and make the necessary changes, but that is only if you admit that you made a mistake. You can learn from other people's mistakes rather than having to make the same mistakes, but that is only possible if you take the time to notice.  By the time you get old you have learned a lot of mistakes that you can avoid repeating. You want to warn those younger than you by telling them what you have learned to keep them from making the same mistakes. Unfortunately they don't want to listen. It's hard to watch them make a mistake that you tried to prevent. I know they don't want to hear I TOLD YOU SO. I have learned to simply say, I am sorry I was afraid that could happen. Sometimes I wander what is the point of all the knowledge you accumulated over your lifetime if no one will listen to benefit from it? In these fast paced times we live in, no one makes the time for "small talk" which is when random stories and details emerge that you can learn from. Through many decades of "small talk" I am able to recall and share past experiences that could help someone. But unfortunately they were so busy running around like a chicken with their head cut off that I never got to warn them. Not everything you need to know in life can be found on Google.

Friday, February 21, 2020

Surely you can see the pain it causes

A heartbroken mother of a nine year old boy from Australia shared a video showing the affects bullying had on her son. There is no way anyone can watch that video without tearing up and getting angry as hell. To hear and see the emotional torment he was going through was heart wrenching. Schools should be a place where our children are safe. Unfortunately schools everywhere have "shooter drills" which definitely doesn't make parents or children feel safe knowing they have to be prepared because it could happen. But SCHOOL BULLYING destroys lives on a daily basis but no one protects our children from being bullied. I have seen bully's in school children start from kindergarten age and are allowed to continue being a bully all the way through their school years. If they would have stopped them in kindergarten from doing it, they wouldn't have been able to do it to hundreds of other children. I think schools need to be held accountable for allowing it to continue. Of course the parents play a big role in teaching their child to be kind to others. But by law you have to send your child to school or face the consequences. Why isn't there a law that our children be safe from being bullied or the school will pay the consequences. In the video the boy cries out while pointing and said and "you didn't do anything." That few seconds of video is for ALL of us to hear, he is talking to ALL of us. We know it is happening and we need to do something about it.

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

You may have heard it but that doesn't mean you heard anything

If you don't listen, you won't hear it and neither will they. It may seem like a little thing but when you see the "Big Picture" you can see just how big it really is. Sometimes if you just listen to them describing the "Big Picture" they can see it for the first time themselves. By someone just giving them a chance to try to explain their complex situation, it allows them to see for themselves the "Big Picture." When they see it they will be able to know exactly what they need to do. A therapist you pay to listen. They know that by letting you talk about it, you will be able to figure things out on your own. Unfortunately those around you that you would be able to talk with to help, seem to always be to busy to listen long enough for you to be able to see the "Big Picture." It is certainly not something you could do in a text or an email. With all the technology these days, we rarely take the time to relate to each other on a human level. We can become so distracted that we don't notice what others are truly going through. Without staying in touch with your human side you become lost in cyberspace. You don't have to solve it for them just take the time to let them see the "Big Picture", so they can see how to solve it themselves.

Monday, February 17, 2020

Without an imagination you won't be able to imagine the possibilities

Being creative will help you create the best outcome for yourself. You can't always see it right away, but with a little imagination and creativity you can make lemonade out of lemons. If you can imagine it, then you know it is possible. Without an imagination you won't be able to imagine what is actually possible. Could you imagine what is possible if you got creative? To make the best out of a bad situation you have to remember that it is all in how you look at the situation. The outcome is not determined by the situation you are in but on how you react to the situation you are in. With a little imagination and creativity you can have a positive outcome. If you can't imagine it then it won't be possible because you won't see the possibilities. You will find what you are looking for but only if you look for it will you be able to find it.

Friday, February 14, 2020

Don't waste it, make the most out of it

It's income tax time again. In the creative writing class I took many years ago, we were given the assignment to make up a new word and it's meaning. Because it was income tax time, my word was "scervous." It's meaning was being scared and nervous about how much I would owe. Now if you are lucky enough to get a refund, then for you, income tax time would be exciting and something you looked forward to. For some people who live payday to payday, it's the only time they get a chance to have any cash that you don't owe out before you get it. Don't waste it, use it wisely. It's tempting to go shopping and just blow it. Make the most of it by spending it wisely. You might enjoy some new clothes or a new electronic gadget, but if you have been worried about needing tires for your car, then you should use the money on new tires. Going to all of your favorite restraunts that you can't afford while you are living paycheck to paycheck, sounds good. But it is better to plan on one special dinner out, then use the rest of the money to fill your pantry and stock up on household supplies. That way you will have a little extra money as you live paycheck to paycheck for weeks, not use the money on a meal that only satisfies you for a few hours before it's time for your next meal. Instant gratification only lasts for an instant. It is best to choose what you want to spend your money on then the moment you get your refund check, stick to your decision and do it right away. Because if you hold on to it waiting to decide, it will get wasted little by little until it is gone. You should definitely splurge on something for yourself but don't make a gluten out of yourself.

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Hang on tight and you will be alright

There are millions of people but your circle of life is made up of only a handful of people. And you have to hold on tight to keep the circle together. When the circle is broken from a death, you have to grab your "Duct Tape" to keep the circle together. Unfortunately, as well as births there will be deaths, they are both a part of the circle of life. I have seen a death in families that causes the family circle to be broken forever. I have seen family reunions that everyone had gathered at for decades, stop when just one person died out of one family, out of the group of families that had always gone to the family reunions. That should have made everyone else look forward to the next family reunion that much more because you never know if you will see them again. If your family doesn't have family reunions, I suggest you start that tradition.

Monday, February 10, 2020

You can peacefully agree to disagree

Just because your opinion is different than their opinion, doesn't mean you should get angry or violent towards them. You may not agree with them but they have a right to have their own opinion. If you want the right to have your opinion you will have to respect other people's opinions. You can agree to disagree. Unfortunately some people get angry if you voice your opinion if it is different from theirs. Especially politics and religion. Some of my dearest friends and family members have a different opinions on politics and religion. Therefore, we don't talk about them with each other. There are times when the subjects get brought up and immediately the tone of the conversation gets tense. When it happens one of us says let's change the subject. We know that nothing we say to each other will change the other ones opinion but we know trying to would only damage our relationship. There is plenty to talk to each other about that has nothing to do with politics or religion. For the sake of our friendship, we just agree to disagree. If you find yourself starting to get tense when someone tells you their opinion, stop, exhale, and bring up a different subject to talk about. To keep peace you both just agree to disagree. It's that simple. Because it could take one simple argument over something you both know you have totally opposite opinions about to end a relationship that is not nor never has been what your friendship was formed on. You are who you are and they are who they are, and that is why you agree to disagree.

Friday, February 7, 2020

A helping hand VS a hand out

It feels good to lend a helping hand to someone. Sometimes that is all they need to stand on their own again. Getting just a little behind when you are barely making it can be all it takes to knock you down. Even just needing a part for your car that you can't afford can be devastating because you need your car to get to work. It can be a stressful situation that you couldn't avoid. If you could would you give them a helping hand and buy the part they need? The only thing is do they really need a helping hand or are they playing on your emotions to get a free hand out? If you don't know them well enough to know then it's hard to reach out and help them. I have met several people who always say they desperately need help yet they really just want to emotionally play with your kind-heartedness to get anything for free. We were about to give someone an old car we had after hearing them repeatedly say how desperately they needed one. Then we found out that someone else had already given them a car. How on Earth could they say they needed a car then? When we confronted them about knowing they already had one, they just chuckled. They showed no guilt. They felt no shame, they just chuckled. Needless to say we didn't give them the car. Unfortunately it has affected us in a negative way. Our kind-heartedness has grown a little colder. We learned we can't just act on our emotions because we realized we can be fooled. You know the saying fool me once shame on them, getting fooled twice shame on you, it just makes us the fools. You have to know if someone just needs a helping hand or are just looking for hand-outs. Those that don't ask for your help yet you see they are struggling, those are the only ones that you should give a helping hand to. Because unfortunately some people get whatever they can simply because they get away with it. I have seen news stories about pan handlers that admit they make more tax free money begging then they made working. I have seen them walk from the street corner where they stood with their sign, over to the parking lot across the street and get into a nice car and drive away. After that I only give to the firemen who collect twice a year at our intersection of town and the Bell ringers in front of the stores at Christmas time. And of course the monthly gift we give to St. Jude's for decades now that we know use every penny they get on treatments and research in hopes of finding a cute for cancer. So before you reach out a helping hand make sure your help is needed. Because giving someone a handout just makes them continue taking advantage of people's kind-heartedness. Be kind but don't be foolish.

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

There will be set backs but...

Accepting that there will be setbacks at times in your life, will help you not let them hold you back. If you think everything will always be smooth sailing for you during your life's journey, you won't be prepared when you hit rough times. Knowing that there will be tough times, can help you get through the tough times. You got to be able to JUST FLUSH IT so you can move on. Remind yourself of the things that you are good at and use those "tools" to get you back on track. The outcome is not what happens in life as much as it is about how you react to what happens to you. So if something angers you don't react until you have time to think about what your reactions would bring. Your first thought to a negative situation is so negative that the outcome will be negative. You will still be angry about it, but as long as you stop and think about it, you won't be angry at yourself for making things worse by how you reacted. Relying on your strengths will be the key to turning the situation around to get a positive outcome.

Monday, February 3, 2020

Did you notice that?

Even in a crowded area it is possible that no one noticed. We have trained ourselves to ignore everything. Some call it minding your own business. Some say they were too busy to notice. Others say it is too dangerous to get involved. And sadly enough, some say it's because they don't care what is happening to anyone else. When I was growing up, the neighbors would watch out for each other. And you feared that they would tell your parents if you misbehaved, nowadays neighbors fear retaliation if they tell on kids. When I told my neighbors son to go tell his parents what I just saw him doing, his response was his parents didn't care. I had known his parents and their children for a long time and I asked him out of respect for me please go tell your parents. He said yes mam. In less than a minute he was back outside. He said I told them what you said and just like I thought they said they didn't care. I thanked him for at least showing me respect and going in to tell them. Years later when he was grown up, when we were talking he brought up the memory of that day. He said he had always respected me for that. I was so happy that he remembered everything about that afternoon that was so long ago. He said he realized then that I was an old fashioned parent. I had never forgotten the incident but I assumed just like his parents that he would have forgotten it. Your brief encounter can make an impression, even though you don't think so. Perhaps as a parent one day he will care to hear from his neighbors if his children are misbehaving. Then he could nip it in the bud before it leads to commonly misbehaving when they are's much easier to stop a three year old from unacceptable behavior. If you wait until they are teenagers and out of control, it will be too late. Teach them from an early age. My best advice to young parents is to remember they have to love their children enough to let them hate them when they have to call them out on their bad behavior.