Choose your battles

You don't have to win every battle to win a war. Choose what is worth fighting for because sometimes PEACE is better than being right. Compromise let's everyone win. With a little give and take you can both get what you need. Working together gets a whole lot more accomplished then playing tug of war against each other, and nothing gets accomplished. Neither of you can get everything you want but you both can get everything you need. You can be stubborn about your goals but you have to be flexible about how you can achieve them. As long as there is compromise then your goals won't be compromised.

You won't know which way to go until you know where you want to go to

You have to decide where you want to go before you can choose which way to go. You can't just sign up for college until you decide what degree you need to get the kind of job you want when you graduate. You won't know what direction to go on the highway until you decide where you are going. You can't reach your goals unless you set goals for yourself. Your dreams can't come true if you don't have dreams. If you get knocked down in life you have to either stay down or get up. You may have not have been able to prevent yourself from falling down but whether you stay down or not, is your choice. Sometimes it takes you falling down lower than you have ever been to stand back up taller and stronger than you ever were. Sometimes it takes a tornado to get you where you are supposed to be because it was the only way to get you there. It's hard to understand but growing pains are painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong.

Have you heard the phrase, my way or the highway?

I hadn't heard the saying, it's my way or the highway, in a long time. So when I heard it I was surprised. There are many things from decades past that have become common and popular again. I never thought I would see bell bottom pants come back in style, but they have. Unfortunately none of us, or at least I didn't, save any items for four decades until they would become popular again. When I see someone wearing styles like I did four decades ago it brings a ton of visual memories that make me smile. When I hear "old phrases" from time to time, it brings up many happy memories for me to enjoy. Our minds are full of buried memories that are forgotten and they won't be remembered unless something triggers them. I have always enjoyed walking around a flea market where old memories can be triggered as I look at what people are selling. I don't have to buy anything, I just have to see an object that triggers a forgotten memory suddenly vivid front and center in my mind. One day I saw an old lamp exactly like the one my aunt had in her home. Instantly many memories of time spent at her house flooded in my mind that made me smile from ear to ear. I felt bad when the lady selling it thought for sure I was going to buy it after spending so much time staring at it while I was reliving memories with a big smile on my face. I stroll through the many ailes of the flea market enjoying all the buried memories that all the random objects trigger. Each time I go there I never know which relative or friend I will get to spend time with.

You don't have to have the answer you just have to listen

It's sad when you see someone going through a rough time and there is nothing you can do to help and you have no advice to give them. But that doesn't mean you can't help them get through it. If you just take the time to listen to them, it helps. If you listen long enough it helps them feel better. If you just allow them to share their story and respond with empathy and understanding, it helps them. You don't have to have the answer you just have to take the time to listen. It's possible as they tell you they not only feel better but they see the "whole picture" and see an answer to their problem. You don't have to be a doctor to make someone feel better, you just have to be a compassionate person and take the time to listen to them. They say laughter is the best medicine and you can give it away for free.

Father's day is the day you let your father know how much you love him

To be a parent is a hard job. As a parent there is nothing you wouldn't do for your children. Letting your Father know how special he is to you, means more to him than any child will ever know. We are just  twenty seven hours away from making the day all about him to show him how special he is to us. As I helped my grandkids make cards for their Father you could feel the love that they had for him. When your children are little they just beam from the inside out with love that is easily seen and felt. The quarantine may keep some people from being able to physically visit their Fathers this year. That doesn't mean you can't talk to him so he can feel your love. Time talking about memories you two have shared will still allow him to feel your love. For those of us who's Father's are no longer with us, you can still think about memories you shared with him and feel his love. And if there is truth that their spirits are still here with us, he will feel your love. Happy Father's day to every Father.

Don't stunt your growth

You have no choice in how tall you are. But you can stunt your "personal growth." How you VIEW yourself, NOT how other people VIEW you, will decide whether you personally grow where you are planted. If you only focus on your faults, you can't see your many strengths on which you have to build on. The only way to make the "most of what you got" is to realize what you actually have first. You don't have to be good at everything, you just have to be good at everything that you decide to do. People are entitled to their own opinions but the only opinion that matters is your opinion. Your personal growth depends on whether you let yourself grow naturally without stunting your personal growth. You have what it takes, the only question is, will you use what you have? 

Everytime you think of it, you feel the pain

Take the painful experiences from your past and JUST FLUSH IT out of your mind. Keeping it FRESH on your mind won't allow you to HEAL. Everytime you relive it in your mind, it hurts you. Once was bad enough. You can't STOP the painful memories from popping up but you can JUST FLUSH IT quickly out of your mind so it can't hurt you again and again. You can't forget it but you can choose to never relive it again. By the same token, if you enjoyed a past experience you should plan on doing it again. Choosing to do the things that evoke happy feelings and AVOID anything that evokes negative feelings. Your thoughts make up the "REALITY" you live. You can't have a feeling without a thought. Remember Peter Pan couldn't FLY until he thought of happy thoughts. There are times in life when the only way to have a good day is to FLUSH AWAY a bad day. Peace of mind really is JUST a FLUSH away, so JUST FLUSH IT. To have peace of mind you got to make room for it to get in.

If the answer is no then don't say yes

Don't say yes to someone when you know you have no intentions of doing it. An honest NO does far less damage. If you say yes then they stop looking for another way to get what they need done. If you would have just been honest and said no, they would have kept looking for a way to get it done. Don't say it if you don't mean it. There is nothing wrong telling someone NO. But saying yes when you know darn well that there is NO chance you would do it, is wrong. By the same token you can't overwhelm yourself with more than you can actually do by saying yes to everyone. If it is honestly more than you can handle then tell them NO, I would if I could but I just can't. You can't honestly say yes if the honest answer is NO. They may not like the answer but regardless they will appreciate an honest answer. If you tell them yes then keep your word. Like they say, A person is only as good as his word.

We all want it but who will get it?

Everyone wants to feel loved. You may have a lot of love in your heart but can anyone feel it? Just because you think that they know you love them, doesn't mean they feel your love. You need to tell them and show them how much you love them so they can feel it. If you don't, then they won't. No one will know what you are thinking if you don't tell them what you are thinking. You may have a lot of love in your heart but can anyone feel it? Ask yourself that question when you are with those who you love, then make sure they can feel it.

What businesses will be open after the quarantine ends?

For months we have had to shutdown everything to stop the spread of covid19. It has been devastating economically and emotionally frustrating. When will they be able to begin to recover? Who knows how much longer some of the local business will suffer financially before they are forced to close their doors for good. Some communities will suffer far more than they can endure. After the quarantine is over every business that closed will be less jobs available for those living in those communities. Running down to get what you need from stores that were usually open, won't be possible due to them closing.  If you want your local stores to be open you have to support them now so that they will be. We will be better budgeters and more thrifty than we have been over the past few decades. We would replace items not because they were broke but because we wanted the new style. Hopefully we will remain more thrifty after we recover so we are in less unnecessary burden of debt to carry.

Compromise takes communication

You have to compromise to make things work for everyone involved. You have to each communicate what you need to figure out a compromise that works for both of you. You can't be one sided when you aren't the only one involved. Well I guess you can but you won't get anywhere if you can't do it alone. Working it out so that things work out takes communication and compromise. To be a team it takes teamwork. You can only get what you need if they get what they need. Otherwise no one gets what they need because it takes a team effort so you have to work together that's why it is called teamwork. If you need a team to do it then be a team player.

Don't let anyone or anything suck the JOY out of you

To enjoy life while you are living you have to enjoy it while you are living it, even during a pandemic. I have heard countless stories from many people of memories created with their families as they spent time together during the quarantine. And for many people their families had not spent quality family time together in years, unless it was a Holiday. So although the pandemic has hurt us all, months together has bonded families that wouldn't have been possible if it hadn't happened. It's hard to see anything positive about a pandemic. But if you want to enjoy life while you are living in a pandemic, you have to look for anything positive that you can find. As the quarantine is nearing it's end, don't let the regular family time end with it.

We can agree to disagree and continue the conversation

They may be family but that doesn't mean you will agree on everything. They can be a good friend even though they can be very different from you. You might not like everything about your job, but still like your job. Your dog is still your best friend even though they may chew on your favorite pair of shoes. Just because someone doesn't see what you see doesn't mean they didn't see something completely different. Ten people could see the same thing yet each one see something different. There is no wrong answer when you are asked your opinion on something. Your point of view is the only view you can see and their point of view is the only one they can see. You don't have to agree with someone to get along, you just have to agree to disagree and change the subject. If you want to have a right to your opinion you have to respect other people's opinions. My favorite uncle and I have very different opinions on a lot of things yet we are super close. We know the subjects that we disagree on and we both agree to change the subject whenever they come up. There are plenty of other things to talk about. The subjects we can't talk about we each talk to other people about. Choosing to agree to disagree is followed by choosing to change the subject.