One phase after another

We all go through many phases throughout our lifetime. When you are young you go through many phases within just a years time. I look at it as three phases in life. Your childhood, adulthood and getting old. They each come with their own set of challenges. Over time you forget what you actually did even go through throughout your lifetime. If you try to remember what your life was like you realize that you don't really remember much. You know it is what made you who you are today. Although later in life you may realize that what you thought happened never really happened quite the way you thought it did. I think the circle of life was planned so that you forget as time goes on so you can focus better on what you are going through in the phase of life you are in. Your thoughts become your reality even if they really didn't happen at all. I have seen family members argue over their memories of a past experiences being so different. The truth is you can put ten people in a room and show them all the same thing and you can get ten different answers when you asked them to describe what they saw. It just seems impossible but it is possible. It doesn't mean any of them are wrong either. How you look at something is all you can see.

Rushing to make it

Rushing to make a decision means you will make it without knowing what you should really choose. That is fine if you are choosing what to eat for dinner because it is no big deal if you don't like it. But most decisions you will have to make in your lifetime you will have to live with the consequences for a lifetime. In the fast paced world we live in today you can rush to make a decision. You need to stop long enough to get all the facts before you decide. You also can't sign on the dotted line without reading all the fine print. I recently watched the devastating consequences of someone who found that out, the hard way. They thought they were getting a good deal on 10 acres of land that they were going to build their dream home on. But what they bought was swamp land that they couldn't build a house on. They were upset that the realtor knew they were buying it to build on knowing that they wouldn't be able to. Although it was morally wrong to do that they legally got away with it. Now they have payments for the land and can't afford to buy a home at all. They forgot that if it sounds too good to be true then it probably isn't true. There is an old saying that comes to mind, If you believe that is true then I got some swamp land to sell you. Now they are trying to sell the land so they can buy something else. I wander if they will tell any potential buyer that it is swamp land? I wander how many times that realtor has made a commission on that  same property? People put profit above doing the right thing all the time. And they get away with it all the time. All the more reason to get all the information you need to make your decision before you decide. Because once it's done it's done and you will have to live with your decision for a lifetime.

You can't enjoy today if all you think about is what happened in your past

Trying to help someone move on from their painful experience if they keep it fresh on their mind, is impossible. Until they can JUST FLUSH IT out of their mind they will keep reliving it over and over again. It's like the movie Ground Hog Day. If they let a negative thought grab their attention when it pops up in their mind then they keep reliving their past over and over again. You can't get over it if you keep it fresh on your mind. You can't enjoy life while you are living it if you choose to only keep reliving your past. It's like never changing the channel on your TV and wandering why you missed your show which you know is on a different channel. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. You can't change what happened. It was bad enough when it happened once. Once was enough. It will keep popping up in your mind but at a quick glance you can JUST FLUSH IT so it can't do anymore damage. It's as easy as changing the channel on your TV.

You may find yourself backed against a wall but that doesn't mean you are stuck there

Not everything you go through in your lifetime will be easy. There will be times when you will feel like you are backed against a wall but it doesn't mean you have to stay there. That is unless you choose to stay there complaining about where you are.  You will have to JUST FLUSH IT and get up and go another direction. If you spend your time reliving what happened over and over again it will trap you where you are. You aren't trapped where you are unless you trap yourself. Like the church sign that inspired me said, "It's ok to sit on your pity-potty every now and again just be sure to FLUSH when you are done." We all have found ourselves stuck in difficult situations and although it was difficult we made the best of the situation we were in. If life gives you lemons then learn how to make lemonade.

You will miss it if you don't understand it

Have you ever experienced a feeling that a loved one that has passed away was trying to say hello? You may dismiss the thought because it seems so bizarre. But if you do then you will miss their hello. I have seen fan blades move when they were turned off. My friend just received a text from her friends old phone number. Any opportunity to feel them is an opportunity you may miss. Just enjoy the chance to feel their presence and don't waste it doubting that it is from them. Besides those occasional hellos you can associate them with an insect or flower when they pass away. Like a yellow butterfly then everytime you see a yellow butterfly you can take a moment to say hello to them every now and then. You know you miss them so don't miss an opportunity to enjoy reminiscing about them.

You can if you don't talk yourself out of it

Deciding what you want to do is the easy part. Figuring out how to do it will take some research. The hardest part is to not let what you have to do to accomplish it be sabotaged by your thoughts. There is a phrase that says "Anyone can make a mountain out of a mole hill if they keep adding dirt." Your thoughts can make you your own worst enemy. How you look at it will determine whether you will do it or not. Although it is as easy as stepping over the mole you can convince yourself that it is a mountain too big for you to climb. You have a chance unless you convince yourself that you have no chance at all. Your thoughts determine your reality even if in reality you have made a mountain out of a mole hill.

It starts with one hand

Being kind to someone doesn't take much effort. Like letting someone out when you are driving in rush hour traffic can certainly make them smile. And as they wave their hand to thank you for doing it, that makes you smile. That is if they take the time to wave. Would you wave to say thank you? It feels twice as good when there are two people in the car and they both wave. When you hold the door open for someone they can't help but make eye contact with you and greet you with a smile and say thank you. Without much effort you can share a smile with someone. Your smile hugs their face causing then to automatically smile back. Too often you hear people say there isn't anything they can do to make a positive difference in the world. But a smile means peace in any language. Just making them smile can distract them long enough to ease their mind. You have many opportunities throughout your day to see how many times you can make someone smile. At the end of the day you will smile knowing you made a positive difference to someone today. Be kind to everyone you meet because you have no idea what they may be facing.  Every act of kindness no matter how small makes a big difference in this crazy World we live in.

It signals the end is near

The Halloween decorations now fill the shelves of stores. When they come out you know it is near the end of another year. Before you know it we will be ringing in the new year. Time sure does seem to fly faster once the Halloween merchandise comes out. All the excitement of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas keep you so busy that before you know it Santa will be here. Start your New Year's resolution now to make getting out of debt a priority. Don't buy people gifts they don't need and you really can't afford. Ring in the new year celebrating that you didn't spend more money than you could afford. It can only be a fresh start in the New Year if you don't bring any personal or financial baggage into it.

Laughfter may not seem appropriate but...

I want to send a great big cyberspace hug to my dear friend who lost her Mom today. You were your Moms angel on earth and she will be yours in heaven. I am so lucky to have so many warm memories of her. I was concerned that those around you may not have understood why we laughed as we were sharing our memories of her. Your Mom always made people laugh. I am almost certain the conversations between her and your Granny will have God laughing too. Your memories of her will help ease your pain and make you laugh as she did here on earth. If words could ease your pain I would write you a book because I know your heart is broken. I may be too far away to hug you but I am always just a phone call away if you need me. We all have to ask ourselves what will people remember about us?

It is not what it should be

There is a famous quote that said "You have nothing to fear but fear itself." It used to mean to me that you can do anything you want if you don't let yourself fear it. But today when I took my teenage son to school there were several police cars in different areas of the school parking lot. Deep down inside I didn't want to drop him off not knowing what was going on. But I knew that I would have to. It was already the second time this school year that I had seen the police in the parking lot. And school has only been in session for three weeks. The school sent a message out to the parents an hour after dropping him off. There was another threat of violence against the school. I am totally grateful that they took the threat seriously and were there to prevent it. However I am shocked that this has become a common occurrence that we have to live with. There is no safe place anywhere anymore. There is no sure way to stop the insanity we see in society. Of course I talk to my son about the horrific events of mass shootings so he is aware of the dangers so that he can be causious and stay safe. But at the same time I know it also makes him fearful. I want to shelter him to protect him from worrying but I know I can't it is better if he knows. That really sucks that I am the one giving him the facts that I know will take away his peace of mind. It really hurt when I was dropping him off to hear him say he wished they would just call off school for the day. I could see the fear in his eyes. When it happened a week earlier the school was on lockdown and he spent the classroom time huddled in the closet with his classmates. They didn't do any school work they just hunkered down waiting to see if a shooter would start a killing rampage. This isn't how life should be. Unfortunately it is the life we all live in. So that famous saying means nothing today because fear is always present. You seriously have to fear every day because these tragedies occur everyday.

Taking the time to pick them up

It is pretty common to get flowers as a gift on a holiday. As you get older especially because by then you have way too much stuff and don't need anything. I enjoy putting them in little vases in several rooms of the house. The aroma in the air  is relaxing and calming. You get to enjoy them for a few days. I had been too busy to have everyone over for my birthday which unfortunately meant no one came bringing flowers. It wasn't a big deal I kept telling myself, yet I felt like something was missing. I knew that there had been other holidays without flowers yet I was feeling saddened to not have any. I kept telling myself JUST FLUSH IT and enjoy your birthday. Then I got a text that my grandkids had put their gifts they had gotten me on my porch. Everyone had a busy day planned which is why we hadn't been able to get together. But as they were out and about they had dropped it off. When I went out there I found a whole bunch of wild flowers they had picked for me. It was a beautiful boquet of flowers they had put in an old Mason jar with water. It brought such a smile to my face. I realized my grandkids really did know how happy the flowers on a holiday made me. I definitely thought I wasn't going to get any flowers. But what do you know, even though everyone was busy they took the time to pick them up and bring them to me. That made me feel very special on my special day. It doesn't have to cost a fortune nor does it require a lot of your time to make someone smile. You may be busy but it only takes a moment of your time to show someone you care.